anagramofbrat: (team tatro (2015))
We've been averaging a snowstorm a week since January up here in Ye Olde Newe Aengeland*, to the point where I think all the kids in the state of Massachusetts may have had school on one Monday since the semester began. D: Boston and the surrounding areas have been getting it really bad - I think they've had maybe a collective five feet of snow in the past few weeks and things out there are a complete disaster any kind of transportation-wise. New York MTA had to lend the Boston MBTA two giant rail snowblowers for track clearing, even. (Fun Fact: those machines are honestly called Snowzillas. Seriously, google it.) This has made kid weekends super challenging, and with the current snowstorm finally petering out this morning, Tuesday finds me with a day taken off from work and the kids still here because the roads have been utter shit for the past 48 hours. Thankfully school has been cancelled for the past couple of days, so that isn't a factor, but apparently Kidzilla's class now has Snow Day homework they have to do in case of school cancellation so she's been meeting the news of yet another snow day with alarmingly grown-up groans. On one hand, yeah, there's been a bit of scrambling with the change in schedule, but on the other hand having them here a couple of extra days has on many levels been really fun.

I've decided that Wee Beastie is, in fact, a Neverland fairy. I say that mostly because I often joke that he's too small to hold more than one emotion at a time, so as a result all of his emotions are all-encompassing forces of nature. When he's happy, he's a ball of zoomy radioactive joy. When he's sad, he is inconsolable and Everything Is Terrible. When he's angry it's like a storm descends in the room, he's all violently flailing appendages and screaming. It is certainly a Thing To Behold/worry about.

After he pitched a mega fit last night about having to go to bed which ended with him punching [livejournal.com profile] cell23 square in the nose (not kidding about the violent flailing), I sat with him for a little bit after his time-out to calm him down and we had a long, surprisingly interesting chat about how he experiences big overwhelming emotions. He concluded independently that angry was his biggest feeling, and when he gets angry it's "too big for me" and that's why he has trouble controlling himself. I told him the quote from Peter Pan about how fairies are too small to be more than one thing at a time, and he got this solemn little expression on his face (hilarious, btw) and was all "Yeah. That sounds correct."

He is, indeed, a funny little bug.

Anyway, we agreed that we need to work on making more space for big emotions. I've been wanting to get him involved in some kind of directed physical activity/martial art so he can vent off some of the pent up physical energy for a while but owing to budget constraints on both sides of the state and the additional difficulty of only having every other weekend to work with on ours it hasn't really been practical. Still, this morning I'm taking another stab at looking at some options for him. The local Tae Kwon Do school seems pretty promising aside from the scheduling hurdle; I may stop by later in the week to take a closer look at it and see if the every/other schedule can be worked with/around. That is if it ever stops snowing long enough for anything to dig out and reopen around here. If anything, their summer camp seems tailor made for him with a week of martial arts, playing with horses and learning to swim, so that is something to sock away money for at the very least.

In other news, along with getting bitten with what seems like every creative idea ever (and thus being paralyzed with indecision about which to work on at any given time, since the Super Bowl I've been having intense needs to Color Things. This led to a rediscovery that I absolutely adore geometric patterns and mandalas, a ridiculous number of which are available free on the internet, so as of Sunday I've decided to try to color one per day, be it with actual markers/pencils/crayons or digitally. I've only done two so far and I'm not sure how the one-per-day bit is going to work out long term as I tend to gravitate towards the ones with intensely complex patterns, but I do indeed find the process very brain-unclenching.





Well, we'll see. I do need some sort of anxiety reduction type thing to do on the regular for a while, but previous attempts at meditation have already shown that I suck at it - in fact sitting still with nothing tangible to focus on tends to make my anxiety worse. (This is why I tend to not work well without music or some kind of background noise - silence freaks me the fuck out.) This is also sort of why I miss having a commute - driving tends to calm my brain down right quick as well. Maybe when the roads clear, considering the free fall gas prices have been in for the past little bit I'll do more of that too.


* I made that spelling up. don't have a historical accuracy cow at me please.
anagramofbrat: (Evil Squirrel (SOON))
It occurs to me that most normal people don't spend two weeks working on getting a PHP script to turn a boring black and white QRCode into something that looks like a painted wood carving (while still having it scan correctly), but I've never laid any sorts of claims to normalcy.

At any rate...

 

...I think I succeeded. And yes, they all work... though if you scan them, all you're gonna get to is an "OHAI U TOUCHED MAI NUTS" message.


Not gonna lie, two weeks of looking at 15, 30, 60 and 120 pixel squares in various states of filled might have adversely affected my brain; I'll be glad to work on some other aspect of this project for a while.
anagramofbrat: (game face)
Now that I have your attention, a completely boring post! Seriously, it will have absolutely no yiffing in it.

The events of the past couple weeks have kinda brought my attention to exactly how much I have NOT been taking care of myself lately. I would say that a fair amount of this has, quite frankly, stemmed from simply not being able to afford to, but considering when I do have money I tend to spend it on crap, that's not entirely true. But yeah, I'd kind of been taking the attitude that self-maintenance and care would get taken care of when the money situation got resolved, and one thing that I realized while dealing with the various medical dramas lately is that if I'm not taking care of myself first, the rest of this shit just plain isn't going to happen. A nice example of this was me nearly shooting to pieces late yesterday, not least of which because I'd of course forgotten to really eat anything all day.

Yeah, no.

So I've been shifting my priorities some to self-focus a bit, and it's been helping. Trying not to stress too much, eat something regularly (and not just starch/carbs), drink more water and less coffee, rest when I need it. It seems to actually working some when I stick to it. Despite last week and yesterday's meltdown of sorts, overall I've been focusing somewhat better, getting something instead of nothing done, and just more able to deal with shit. Seems to be a step in the right direction, anyway.

And now off to find some lunch and start the near sentient mountain of laundry mocking me from the corner.
anagramofbrat: (game face)
Now that I have your attention, a completely boring post! Seriously, it will have absolutely no yiffing in it.

The events of the past couple weeks have kinda brought my attention to exactly how much I have NOT been taking care of myself lately. I would say that a fair amount of this has, quite frankly, stemmed from simply not being able to afford to, but considering when I do have money I tend to spend it on crap, that's not entirely true. But yeah, I'd kind of been taking the attitude that self-maintenance and care would get taken care of when the money situation got resolved, and one thing that I realized while dealing with the various medical dramas lately is that if I'm not taking care of myself first, the rest of this shit just plain isn't going to happen. A nice example of this was me nearly shooting to pieces late yesterday, not least of which because I'd of course forgotten to really eat anything all day.

Yeah, no.

So I've been shifting my priorities some to self-focus a bit, and it's been helping. Trying not to stress too much, eat something regularly (and not just starch/carbs), drink more water and less coffee, rest when I need it. It seems to actually working some when I stick to it. Despite last week and yesterday's meltdown of sorts, overall I've been focusing somewhat better, getting something instead of nothing done, and just more able to deal with shit. Seems to be a step in the right direction, anyway.

And now off to find some lunch and start the near sentient mountain of laundry mocking me from the corner.
anagramofbrat: (what is love?)
Abg gung V unir nalguvat ernyyl gb cbfg bgure guna gur fabj vf zrygvat naq V unir nppvqragnyyl znqr qryvpvbhf unccra va gur xvgpura ntnva. Frr?



Zl oenva vf nyy whzoyl gbqnl, ohg nyfb, jung ryfr vf arj nobhg gung? Vg'f orra n irel guvaxl fbeg bs jrrx.

Gung'f vg ernyyl. Nf lbh jrer.

ARKG GVZR V CBFG VA FNHEVNA NUNUNUNUNUNUNUN. FCRNXVAT BS JUVPU:

Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! ♥♥ Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today!

Gung vf nyy, ernyyl, zbir nybat.
anagramofbrat: (what is love?)
Abg gung V unir nalguvat ernyyl gb cbfg bgure guna gur fabj vf zrygvat naq V unir nppvqragnyyl znqr qryvpvbhf unccra va gur xvgpura ntnva. Frr?



Zl oenva vf nyy whzoyl gbqnl, ohg nyfb, jung ryfr vf arj nobhg gung? Vg'f orra n irel guvaxl fbeg bs jrrx.

Gung'f vg ernyyl. Nf lbh jrer.

ARKG GVZR V CBFG VA FNHEVNA NUNUNUNUNUNUNUN. FCRNXVAT BS JUVPU:

Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! ♥♥ Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today!

Gung vf nyy, ernyyl, zbir nybat.

Sterf

Jan. 9th, 2011 09:17 pm
anagramofbrat: (team tatro)
There was good and bad stuff about today which is unfortunately all sort of making my brain implode around the edges, so I'm gonna skip writing about it until later, if at all. I will instead note that I have belatedly joined the Goodreads bandwagon (username is the same over there as it ever was) and spent the last half hour or so entering my library pulls from November onwards. Feel free to friend me back, or just friend me period if I haven't for some reason found you via email, facebook or twitter.

Also. I have a date to work towards in terms of getting at least some of my money in order, as [livejournal.com profile] cell23 and I have tentatively circled the weekend immediately before Valentine's Day to head up to Dakin and find a kitty willing to have us as its meat puppets. Dun Dun Dun.

I'm sure I've posted about this once or twice before, but one of the incredibly fun things about having small to medium sized people around is the opportunity to introduce them to new things. Well, new to them things, anyway, they could just be things you like. This evening, killing time before they got picked up, I was playing game number 2 of Othello with Kidzilla (I'd taught her how to play last night) and at the same time proving that no, I'm not making it up, "Fish heads, fish heads, roly poly fish heads" is an actual song, with like actual lyrics and stuff. Silly lyrics, mind, but lyrics nonetheless. This led to a discussion of "silly grown-up music" wherein I introduced her to a little TMBG (oh, "Fingertips"), and some Aquabats (we both agreed that "Attacked by Snakes!" probably wasn't Daddy's favorite song.) I think next week'll have to include some Weird Al. But yeah, it was really fun getting to share stuff like that with her, and I rather look forward to when Lovebug is old enough to do that with as well.

Dear fates, speaking of the little man, I am beyond impressed with him. He's pretty much by sheer force of sister-envy and all the three year old stubbornness he can muster (which is a lot, he is [livejournal.com profile] cell23's son after all) managed to force himself into literacy this fall. He still skips every fifth or sixth word or so, but he's getting through Dr. Seuss level books pretty competently, recognizes words in his environment that make me go O_o and has started to do the thing where he'll bring you a book, ask you to read it to him, climb into your lap or into bed with you, and then read it out loud by himself. Sheesh. If he applies that much determination to global domination next year, the world may have a shorter, scarier dictator to worry about than Kim Jong-Il. Just. Saying.

Sterf

Jan. 9th, 2011 09:17 pm
anagramofbrat: (team tatro)
There was good and bad stuff about today which is unfortunately all sort of making my brain implode around the edges, so I'm gonna skip writing about it until later, if at all. I will instead note that I have belatedly joined the Goodreads bandwagon (username is the same over there as it ever was) and spent the last half hour or so entering my library pulls from November onwards. Feel free to friend me back, or just friend me period if I haven't for some reason found you via email, facebook or twitter.

Also. I have a date to work towards in terms of getting at least some of my money in order, as [livejournal.com profile] cell23 and I have tentatively circled the weekend immediately before Valentine's Day to head up to Dakin and find a kitty willing to have us as its meat puppets. Dun Dun Dun.

I'm sure I've posted about this once or twice before, but one of the incredibly fun things about having small to medium sized people around is the opportunity to introduce them to new things. Well, new to them things, anyway, they could just be things you like. This evening, killing time before they got picked up, I was playing game number 2 of Othello with Kidzilla (I'd taught her how to play last night) and at the same time proving that no, I'm not making it up, "Fish heads, fish heads, roly poly fish heads" is an actual song, with like actual lyrics and stuff. Silly lyrics, mind, but lyrics nonetheless. This led to a discussion of "silly grown-up music" wherein I introduced her to a little TMBG (oh, "Fingertips"), and some Aquabats (we both agreed that "Attacked by Snakes!" probably wasn't Daddy's favorite song.) I think next week'll have to include some Weird Al. But yeah, it was really fun getting to share stuff like that with her, and I rather look forward to when Lovebug is old enough to do that with as well.

Dear fates, speaking of the little man, I am beyond impressed with him. He's pretty much by sheer force of sister-envy and all the three year old stubbornness he can muster (which is a lot, he is [livejournal.com profile] cell23's son after all) managed to force himself into literacy this fall. He still skips every fifth or sixth word or so, but he's getting through Dr. Seuss level books pretty competently, recognizes words in his environment that make me go O_o and has started to do the thing where he'll bring you a book, ask you to read it to him, climb into your lap or into bed with you, and then read it out loud by himself. Sheesh. If he applies that much determination to global domination next year, the world may have a shorter, scarier dictator to worry about than Kim Jong-Il. Just. Saying.
anagramofbrat: (brat)
Does anyone else have parent-instilled neuroses regarding laundry and the putting away thereof?

I didn't think I did until I noticed how insanely stressed out I get if [livejournal.com profile] cell23's shirts are not on a hangar while they're still hot from the dryer. Not warm, hot. As in within five minutes of the dryer stopping, preferably less. This is totally a childhood thing - my chore was pulling the household clothes out of the dryer, folding them and dumping the folded piles on the bed of whomever they belonged to for them to deal with afterward.* Except for Dad's shirts. Mom was very... insistent that they get shaken out and on hangers as soon as they were dry so she didn't have to iron them. And what do you know, that conditioning is back in full ragey force.

It totally makes sense that it hasn't come up before now considering this would be the first time since leaving home that any laundry I had to deal with on a regular basis included a fair amount of men's button down shirts. And I know it's all me, cause [livejournal.com profile] cell23 could give a rats ass when his shirts get hung. IDK, just a "whoa! where the fuck did this come from?" sort of moment, I guess. Well, at least I can defuse and ignore it from now on.

So. Anyone else? Or is it just me and Christina Crawford over here?


* this probably explains why to this day I utterly loathe the fold & put away stage of laundry. :P
anagramofbrat: (brat)
Does anyone else have parent-instilled neuroses regarding laundry and the putting away thereof?

I didn't think I did until I noticed how insanely stressed out I get if [livejournal.com profile] cell23's shirts are not on a hangar while they're still hot from the dryer. Not warm, hot. As in within five minutes of the dryer stopping, preferably less. This is totally a childhood thing - my chore was pulling the household clothes out of the dryer, folding them and dumping the folded piles on the bed of whomever they belonged to for them to deal with afterward.* Except for Dad's shirts. Mom was very... insistent that they get shaken out and on hangers as soon as they were dry so she didn't have to iron them. And what do you know, that conditioning is back in full ragey force.

It totally makes sense that it hasn't come up before now considering this would be the first time since leaving home that any laundry I had to deal with on a regular basis included a fair amount of men's button down shirts. And I know it's all me, cause [livejournal.com profile] cell23 could give a rats ass when his shirts get hung. IDK, just a "whoa! where the fuck did this come from?" sort of moment, I guess. Well, at least I can defuse and ignore it from now on.

So. Anyone else? Or is it just me and Christina Crawford over here?


* this probably explains why to this day I utterly loathe the fold & put away stage of laundry. :P
anagramofbrat: (read a book)
Somehow I keep managing to forget that music on == productive. I've had a good couple of days of it. I suppose I have the motivation of wanting to keep my last.fm account up to date to thank.

I have an unholy urge to go make pancakes. Yeah it's 10pm, wtf. We'll see if I can resist the siren call until breakfast tomorrow. Oh shit, we're out of coffee.

In freakishly exciting news, Cryoburn, the latest Vorkosigan novel comes out in 5 DAYS. *flail scream and general fangirl squee* though you know, maybe I ought to think about picking up actual bookshelves before I start buying more books, eh?

I hate my girl plumbing today.


That is all.
anagramofbrat: (read a book)
Somehow I keep managing to forget that music on == productive. I've had a good couple of days of it. I suppose I have the motivation of wanting to keep my last.fm account up to date to thank.

I have an unholy urge to go make pancakes. Yeah it's 10pm, wtf. We'll see if I can resist the siren call until breakfast tomorrow. Oh shit, we're out of coffee.

In freakishly exciting news, Cryoburn, the latest Vorkosigan novel comes out in 5 DAYS. *flail scream and general fangirl squee* though you know, maybe I ought to think about picking up actual bookshelves before I start buying more books, eh?

I hate my girl plumbing today.


That is all.
anagramofbrat: (covered in bees)
So it's 11:22 and so far today I've driven the wrong way down a one way street (got laughed at by a cute girl for doing so BUT STILL omg I did that), blew through a stop sign I didn't see but should have known was there (luckily no one was coming and no cops witnessed this but it freaked me the fuck out), and broken down crying in the coffee/tea aisle of Stop&Shop because VERY CLEARLY I am a miserable failure at life despite that in between all this I was running Grown Up Responsible Adult errands and all things considered have gotten a lot done this morning.

Moral of story: BITCH, COFFEE IS NOT BREAKFAST. YOU NEED CALORIES TO FUNCTION.

...it probably says something that my brain said that to me in Lafayette voice and is currently looking at me like this:



Right, yeah, I'm going to go eat something, wibble in the corner clutching my "I AM A RESPONSIBLE ADULT" trophy for dear life, pop an ativan, and attempt to make something positive out of the rest of today. *sigh*
anagramofbrat: (covered in bees)
So it's 11:22 and so far today I've driven the wrong way down a one way street (got laughed at by a cute girl for doing so BUT STILL omg I did that), blew through a stop sign I didn't see but should have known was there (luckily no one was coming and no cops witnessed this but it freaked me the fuck out), and broken down crying in the coffee/tea aisle of Stop&Shop because VERY CLEARLY I am a miserable failure at life despite that in between all this I was running Grown Up Responsible Adult errands and all things considered have gotten a lot done this morning.

Moral of story: BITCH, COFFEE IS NOT BREAKFAST. YOU NEED CALORIES TO FUNCTION.

...it probably says something that my brain said that to me in Lafayette voice and is currently looking at me like this:



Right, yeah, I'm going to go eat something, wibble in the corner clutching my "I AM A RESPONSIBLE ADULT" trophy for dear life, pop an ativan, and attempt to make something positive out of the rest of today. *sigh*
anagramofbrat: (sing)
A little bit of an Andee's Mental Health PSA:

I've figured out that I pretty much NEED to have music on at all times to occupy the bits of my brain that keep me from functioning properly. I've been looking at how I operate in "silence" and how I operate with music on and yeah, there is a huge difference. So until I can get the littles that are constantly in a state of freakout back on their leashes, I'm pretty much not allowed to operate in silence anymore.

If you feel like helping me out with this:

  • If you're physically around me, I seem cranky and agitated, and you don't feel like doing the monkey dance to keep me entertained, tell me to go put iTunes or Pandora on.

  • This also goes for if you run into me in the wide wide world - I'm going to be stopping at $mall on my way home today and getting a new pair of Sony earmuffs just for this reason, so if you see me out and about and alone, I should have them on, or at least around my neck. If not, yell at me.

  • If you're online and I seem to be tweaking out (redflag posts to either twitter, LJ or IM) pop quickly to my last.fm profile and make sure that it says "Listening Now..." under Recently Listened tracks. If it doesn't, tell me to put iTunes or Pandora on and go do something productive.

I'm gonna try this out for the month of April and see if things go any better than they have in the first quarter of 2010. While I'm kinda annoyed that I have to do this to force my head to reset itself, I kinda have to suck it up and do something because I super can't afford to lie around wallowing in my own non-functional anymore.
anagramofbrat: (sing)
A little bit of an Andee's Mental Health PSA:

I've figured out that I pretty much NEED to have music on at all times to occupy the bits of my brain that keep me from functioning properly. I've been looking at how I operate in "silence" and how I operate with music on and yeah, there is a huge difference. So until I can get the littles that are constantly in a state of freakout back on their leashes, I'm pretty much not allowed to operate in silence anymore.

If you feel like helping me out with this:

  • If you're physically around me, I seem cranky and agitated, and you don't feel like doing the monkey dance to keep me entertained, tell me to go put iTunes or Pandora on.

  • This also goes for if you run into me in the wide wide world - I'm going to be stopping at $mall on my way home today and getting a new pair of Sony earmuffs just for this reason, so if you see me out and about and alone, I should have them on, or at least around my neck. If not, yell at me.

  • If you're online and I seem to be tweaking out (redflag posts to either twitter, LJ or IM) pop quickly to my last.fm profile and make sure that it says "Listening Now..." under Recently Listened tracks. If it doesn't, tell me to put iTunes or Pandora on and go do something productive.

I'm gonna try this out for the month of April and see if things go any better than they have in the first quarter of 2010. While I'm kinda annoyed that I have to do this to force my head to reset itself, I kinda have to suck it up and do something because I super can't afford to lie around wallowing in my own non-functional anymore.
anagramofbrat: (i'm on a horse)
Hello Ladies.

Look at my horse. Now look at me. Now back to my horse. Now back to me.

Sadly my horse isn't me. But if you give it a lick it'll taste just like raisins.

Look down. Back up. Where are you? You're on a plane my horse turns into with a stroke of its mane.

What's in your hand? Back at me. It's my horse's winky, together with two bottles of that sweet, sweet lemonade you love.

Look again. The lemonade is now a trip around the universe and all the other places too.

Anything is possible when the universe pretty much covers everything.

Shut up, woman, I'm on a horse.



My brain is officially a fucked up little place.
anagramofbrat: (i'm on a horse)
Hello Ladies.

Look at my horse. Now look at me. Now back to my horse. Now back to me.

Sadly my horse isn't me. But if you give it a lick it'll taste just like raisins.

Look down. Back up. Where are you? You're on a plane my horse turns into with a stroke of its mane.

What's in your hand? Back at me. It's my horse's winky, together with two bottles of that sweet, sweet lemonade you love.

Look again. The lemonade is now a trip around the universe and all the other places too.

Anything is possible when the universe pretty much covers everything.

Shut up, woman, I'm on a horse.



My brain is officially a fucked up little place.

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