anagramofbrat: (ice)
February is over and I am glad. Between the weather, the fairly large depression/anxiety spike, various friends and loved ones also having worrisome life crap descend and several other things that snowballed on me February can really bite my cooter and die. I'm looking forward to a slightly better month. Hopefully anyway. We'll see. Considering Moonbeam's urinary problems have reared their ugly heads again this weekend it's not exactly off to the greatest start ever.

There has been some good stuff afoot though. After it languishing on my wish list for literally years, I finally managed to acquire a 3T NAS drive for the house and have been cheerfully backing up shit on my computer for the first time like ever. So there's a little bit more peace of mind. (The reorganizing and cleanup of my music, however, slightly slower going and more frustrating.) I also got a wireless bridge so we've finally been able to hook the blu-ray player to the network. Since the drive is also a media server, our days of running thumb drives up and down the stairs are over for watching digital files, plus we can get Netflix in HD now, so we can finally more or less retire the Wii. Seeing as we can also get things like Hulu plus through it as well and my package deal with Comcast is about to run the hell out, renegotiating our cable package is on the agenda for before April - unless they can offer me something that won't cost a C note per month, I'm kicking us back down to air channels and super fast internet, cause we barely watch the rest of the crap we do have. Stupid Comcast and their monopoly and the lack of a la carte cable channels. Boo. But all that aside, both items and the resulting improved connectivity to Things Around the house has been all kinds of awesome this week. So that's a thing.

I may be on a new project at work, which is both awesome and intimidating? That's about all I'm gonna say about it publicly though.

Been trying to keep my creative hand in, but it's been tough since I'm feeling the call of too many irons in the fire and having to choose one to focus on is its own form of stressful. And how do we deal with that? Minecraft and coloring. :P Neither (not Nether, lol) of those options feel like I'm accomplishing all that much but they are giving my head something to focus on than the utter dread soup my brain has been marinating in. I am getting to the point where I am probably going to put the Minecraft down for a while as I'm pretty burned out on it (it did pretty much take over my life for most of the past year), but if I do continue with it/pick it back up I'm going to at least do something online with the world/builds I've been working on other than post them to the /r/MCPE. Not sure what though. Heh, in retrospect maybe I should have given it up for Lent or something, lol. Not too late, really if I really wanted to do something along those lines. Or maybe just give up procrastinating/fucking about on the internet, what have you.

As for coloring I haven't done any more mandalas, though I have acquired a set of new markers (not the fancy kind I wanted, but I find I'm almost as happy for the 50 color set of crayolas I paid all of $5 for for now), a Dover geometrics coloring book, as today [livejournal.com profile] extrajoker dropped by with more coloring Stuff for me - a box of nature themed mandalas and a stack of old coloring books - one D&D themed, the rest based on the movie Willow. The Willow ones I'll be saving for the next Storytime party, which was supposed to be today but I didn't have the spoons or really the cash for party prep, plus considering the weather out right now, postponing it to the end of the month was probably the best thing to do because the roads right now are a freaking slip'n'slide. Anyway, since coloring the Superb Owls went over fantastically, having pages to scan and print that are Willow themed will be awesome.

Anyway, I did start a mandala this weekend, then found myself contemplating a pad of engineering graph paper I had lying around that I had been using to sketch out Minecraft floorplans. And some part of me was all like "Color that instead." And I was all like you fucking nuts, that's like 20 squares an inch, I'll go blind. Some photoshop-assisted planning and a couple of days of coloring later, though?


Picture's kinda crap but you get the idea.


I really have to wonder if I have a calling to translate game art into other non-computer mediums. (That aren't perler beads.) I doubt I'll be making a habit of this, though - oddly enough, though it does go quite a bit faster with markers and pens (imagine that) it's been murder on the eyes and wrist in ways the beads weren't. Also 20 squares per inch is actually quite a bit smaller than 11/0 delica beads, so that's a lot of close focus and squinting. Not too surprised at the slight headache I've got going right now. But yeah, I'ma finish this one up and then unless the spirit of USELESS CRAFTING! seizes me again, I'm probably not going to make a habit of marker screenshots. Still - looks pretty cool so far and will probably be even more kickass when I get it finished. Oddly enough this is reinforcing my want for the Le Plume markers I originally wanted to get instead of these ones, because holy crap this would have been so much cleaner looking (and easier) with fine tipped pens. Buuuuuuuuuuuut whatevs. Maybe later this year.

[livejournal.com profile] cell23 and I at least are doing well - he's been adorable to me this past month, which has probably done more to keep me from completely unravelling than I care to admit. We had a lovely date Friday night by checking out the new breakfast cafe in North Amherst, since on Fridays they have evening breakfast-for-dinner hours. I had an absolutely delectable French toast and some of the thinnest sliced SALTIEST ham you will ever have in your life, but dear gods it was tasty as hell, even despite the uncomfortable reminder that I had burned to roof of my mouth earlier in the day, oops, lol. But yeah, he's been an absolute rock this month and though I rail at the fact that I really need that right now, I'm at the same time utterly grateful for it as well.

But yes. Please be better, March. I'm gonna do my best to help it be so, but please, gods PLEASE be better.
anagramofbrat: (Evil Squirrel (SOON))
Insert rabid mega-liberal rant about last night's election. I can't even. I mean, Massachusetts, the bluest blue state that ever blew its blue self outta the blue? Surprise! Republican governor. What.

I am peeved at folk I share this country with, y'all. especially the ones that only vote every four years for presidents, if that. I'm willing to bet a lot of those people are pale, male and and full of trilby-wearing fail.

I now have to use that phrase ALL THE TIME now.

But yeah. Grump. As [livejournal.com profile] grrm would say after the Jets lose (or the Patriots win, lol) life is meaningless and full of pain. Yes, he really is that dramatic about football. It's glorious.

* * *

So there's this THING going on locally that's kind of a big deal. One of what used to be one of my favorite late night haunts, the Route 9 Diner, is now on my and holy crap! loads of people's shit lists right now after a series of blogs mostly titled "Tales from the Diner" were posted detailing the intense constant abuse/sexual harassment the waitress endured at the hands of the cooks and the management. It's sickening and horrific. I know people both well and in passing who have worked there and I'm kind of... I'm abusing the word horrfied, but that's the best word for my feeling when I think of my friends putting up with that level of bullshit. I'm especially sickened because my diner mainstay is milkshakes, and there were many many stories of waitresses being cornered in the walk-in freezer. Just. Ugh.

If you want to take a look, here is the first Tales From the Diner (links to the rest inside.) I don't usually trigger warn, but holy fuck trigger warning for sexual harassment and abuse.

Anyway, its gotten enough attention to make the front page of the Hampshire Gazette yesterday. And while mostly reaction to it and a similar case being brought against the Whately Ballet Castaways strip club across the river are supportive, I did accidentally end up in conversation with someone who will remain nameless that was being a judgemental jackass about it. I refuse to repeat their comments again, but I'd have easily filled out a couple of bingo cards with their responses. I walked away from the conversation before I could get super mad about it, but I posted this to Facebook in response:

"It really angers/saddens me that some people have an attitude of 'I endured [x hardship/abuse] but I'm fine/successful now, people need to quit whining' towards others that are either currently enduring [x hardship/abuse] or enduring something else that is percieved as easier than [x hardship/abuse]. It's frustrating because sometimes I catch myself doing it too in certain conversations and I hate it. We all need to judge others less and have more compassion. Suffering is suffering, and there is no prize for having the ability to take more of it than your neighbor."

TL; DR - people are dicks, take two.

* * *

Random news - I was reading an article about vocal fry this afternoon. (for those of you going "wha?" here's an explanation.) and on my way to church for bells this evening I spoke a few sentences out loud to see if I do it - fuck. YES. YES I DO. IT'S TERRIBLE. Am now strongly considering trying to train myself out of that habit but I'm not too optimistic about success with that, seeing as I've been trying to get myself to quit crossing my legs at work and that's not been working, lol. Course in all likelihood I'll forget about it by tomorrow anyway. Still. Yeesh. I'm not going to be able to not hear/feel it when I speak for a while.

* * *

skimming another article today about game design and realizing SQWRRL, design wise, is pretty solid - I just need to get off my ass and make it happen somehow. Hence the icon.

* * *

I don't know who was the first weirdo that decided to sprinkle salt on their chocolate covered caramel was, but my hat is off to whatever mad genius it was. Reminds me I need to write a backtrack entry about my weekend adventures. Maybe tomorrow. Shower and bed now.
anagramofbrat: (good enough)
This weekend came the day of the Great Seasonal Fuck It, and the plastic came down in a satisfying cellophane tearing. My house has fresh air, and my windowsills have cats. All is right with the world.

We have a car again, along with a newly minted paranoia about potholes. Unfortunately most of the roads we've had to traverse this weekend are full of them. :P Stupid winter/spring transition. Also fuck mud. But having run several solo errands in the car today, ohhh it is nice to be able to drive again. Being behind the wheel does absolutely wonderful soothing things to my brain. Well, when not on a dark road dealing with potholes, intermittent patches whiteout fog and deer with no fear of cars. That was just my Friday night. :P Today thankfully, was free of nonconsensual wildlife, though there was the random muffler lying in the middle of U-Drive earlier today that everyone had to drive very carefully around... I don't think that counts.

If I had to name one thing that I could say convinced me to never leave New England again, it's the proximity to maple trees and seasonal sugar shacks. My gods, but maple syrup is a hell of a thing. Especially over some french toast and farm bacon.

Some days I hate being an empathic person. This week was periodically taken up with helping the kids' grandfather do the final cleanout of their house, as it's been sold and the closing is on April 1. Tonight was pretty much his last night there. Ever. Obviously there were some weapons grade emotional shit to be dealt with - lot of living done in that place. Of course I absorb that stuff like a sponge, and not being in exactly stable emotional space myself owing to tired, off my meds for a few days, and the monthy eruption of Mount Uterus, I had a few moments in the car of the sads myself, even though my attachment to that house is... well, not minimal, really, I've spent a bit of time there over the past five years and had a few memorable times there previously as well. I guess it got me in the same place where watching the husband leave a final kiss on River's steering wheel before she got picked up did. Endings always get me. Especially emotionally loaded ones.

Had a really good weekend with the kids - they love the new bed arrangement, even if it's a little weird for us having Kidzilla crashing in the corner of our room now, I'm much comfier having her upstairs than in the living room. We had a really fun outing yesterday taking them to the sugar shack and Yankee Candle. And... I don't know... it was pretty low key otherwise, but it was nice to have them around.

My beads came in for Banzai Bill! I've also been working on the website and it looks reasonably close to where it should be now. I'll keep tweaking it, but the major fixes are pretty much there. Just have to finish updating the pictures and figure out a way to reorganize my projects now that there have been more of them. Boo's finally hit the internet on more than just Instagram, and maybe this week I'll get him up on Etsy too.

Not a single high below 50, nor a low below 30 forecasted for the next 10 days... and meanwhile, being able to crack the window and actually hear the rain as it comes down for once is a glorious thing
anagramofbrat: (ice)
I'm being melodramatic, of course, but holy crap it's been a shit week. Hence the silence.

It's been ass cold again. We didn't get any of the snow or 80mph wind gusts that the coast did, but the wind we DID get was fierce and cold enough thank you. I am well sick of single digit wind chills. Thankfully this seems to be the end of it; at last check the 10 day forecast ahead calls for highs of 60 (!!!) and lows of no colder than 30 and it keeps notching slowly upwards, which is encouraging. Rainy for most of it, sure, but 60 after any of this winter is positively tropical. Time to start thinking about what to put in my "garden" and how, I think.

So car. Yay right? Except Drew took it for the seven day registration inspection and it failed. Somewhere between the initial trip to the mechanic for evaluation and last week the car developed a tie rod issue. This is not entirely surprising, as the roads around here have developed so many potholes that driving is not unlike traversing a wedge of swiss cheese, and some of them, especially out 202 way, are big enough to fuck up your front ends. We must have hit one somewhere. Phooey. So we were carless again for about a week. Thank goodness for zipcar rentals. From the sound of things, that's getting resolved today, though.

Guess which one of the cats is peeing blood again. >_< Y'all, I'm about at my wits end with this cat. After doing some reading about feline cystisis and talking to other friends with similarly beleaguered cats, I'm suspecting stress may be the culprit here - all three cats have been absolutely FREAKED for the past week or so (why a bit later). Meantime I'm bribing him with tuna water and encouraging him to drink moar, and hopefully tomorrow before I head out to Boston to get the kids I'll have a minute to run a sample down to the vet. Hopefully now that the source of the stress has settled out, so will he.

So the kids' grandfather has sold his house, and the past couple weeks have been dedicated to moving and cleaning it out. Drew's been helping with the cleanout process and meanwhile I've inherited a few items which I'm very pleased about - not only do I now have a Singer sewing machine, but we have some wine glasses finally and a couple other small odds and ends that we needed. We also finally have the bottom half of a bunk bed for the kids - the main reason the cats have been so freaked out is first there were bed pieces strewn around the living room, then MOAR bed pieces when we finally checked out an SUV from zipcar and moved the rest of it over, then we moved Drew's futon from the kids room into our room (it is now a cat/human hangout/read corner), cleaned their room THOROUGHLY (mmm, 3 year old dust bunnies) then assembled and made up the bed. It mostly gave me an excuse to clean the upstairs like a fiend (it needed it, rather desperately, and it looks really nice now, so I'm happy. And hopefully the cats will get used to it too.

But yeah, there's been some sad and angst over there with the emptying house and the moving and the giving away stuff. Hell, I had a MOMENT when the husbeast came home one night with a bag that turned out to be full of knitted squared and a half finished afghan, which I immediately recognized as the wedding present Barbara has told me she'd been working on before she died. That was rough. I'ma see if I can match the yarn colors at Webs at some point and make some attempt at finishing it., even though my own knitting skills are at best half-assed as fuck, but I think she'd have liked it. *sigh* change is a hard thing. Thankfully that will all be done by the end of the weekend.

Nothing new on the bead front - waiting for my latest order from delibeads to come in, and then I can start Banzai Bill. Meanwhile I've been using the downtime to work on my website, which I'd been neglecting since, well, Dad. It's slowly coming along to where I want it. And wow, working with virtual photoshop beads is almost as much of a pain in the ass as regular beads.

There's more, but I gotta bounce on out the door to meet the husbeast for the shoppings. So I'll leave you with the assurance that while it's been bad, things are now looking up. Oh and if you wan a giggle, have a short video of Ash and Moonbeam attempting to play with the kids' Hexbug.
anagramofbrat: (big boo)
I'm around, I'm reading, but somehow haven't really scraped up the cans to post.

It's ass cold in New England and snowing about every five days or so. Winter, distinguished readers. I'm tired of it though - glad there's only a couple months at most more of it before it warms up and Mother Nature moves to Andee Torture: Spring Edition. But! Snow is pretty and the days are getting noticably longer so that's a plus.

In other news hm. What's been going on... mostly been consumed by stressing over Moonbeam (we're on round two of antibiotics for his UTI from hell), grumbling about money and being an antisocial zombie hermit. There have been bright points though - Burlesque was last weekend and that always is a boost to the spirit, we put in a pretty great bell performance the morning afterward despite being snowed out of rehearsal last week. Last night was also lovely, as cell23 and I met deliriumdeva for shenanigans in Northampton, which mostly just turned out to be us planting our butts in a booth at McLadden's Pub (it's new - opened last year in the old Pleasant Street Theater space), having some warm and rib sticking (if a mite pricey) Irish food and staying for bar trivia, in which we managed to come in third place.

Oh Friday cell23 took me out for a date - first to the movies (If you are reading this and you haven't seen the LEGO movie yet FIX THIS IMMEDIATELY it was fantastic) and then out to the Quarters... yikes. Will not be doing that again on a Friday night I don't think, waaaaaaaaaay too many neckbeards and hipsters with a line of demarcation between them so obvious I expected one group to start menacingly snapping their fingers at the other one a la West Side Story. But I did spend about $4 and some quality time reuniting with an old friend, namely the Addams Family pinball table they'd just put in. Despite some broken lights and a stuck flipper that eradicated any enjoyment out of making the skill shot (seeing as it would immediately drain) I did end up thoroughly enjoying myself, though I do wonder if they have plans to at least try to fix the flipper issue.

I haven't been watching much Olympic coverage - for some reason this year not even the figure skating has my attention. I did catch the Opening ceremonies a couple of days later via an Australian broadcast, and... wow, Russia. *smh* Side note - may start watching international coverage of Olympic stuff as opposed to NBCs - it was refreshing to only have three commercial breaks as opposed to a bazillionty eleven, and also to actually see the entire parade of nations instead of "eh - African country, no one cares COMMERCIAL and then have like 10 whole minutes following the USA athletes around the area instead of paying attention to anyone coming afterward - here it was "Oh and here are the Americans. And here is [next country]."

I'm... both okay with and not okay with the amount of coverage the latest dustup over Woody Allen has been getting. Okay because damn, Dylan, get it on out there. Not okay because I found the whole thing triggering the first time around (I was a teenager when the whole Soon-Yi scandal broke) and even more so now for some odd reason, plus there's the whole sexual abuse survivor thing coming into play as well and ugh. Plus there's no good way that situation can end - it's too late to prosecute Allen and the more Dylan speaks the more she's going to get it from all directions because hooray our rape apologist culture. There's no real justice possible. So... feh. It's not a good week to be either on Facebook or on ONTD.

Tumblr... is pissing me off. Righteously, but still. You read enough social justice stuff on the net and well, if you're not angry by the end of it, you're not paying attention, to quote... someone. On the other hand, there's Reboot fandom and gifs of owls and puppies and an entire hashtag of men in makeup, so it balances out. Tumblr, you are a very strange place.

The bracelet I'm making in between projects is turning out to be a bit of a struggle - it's coming out gorgeous but I have no huge inspiration or desire to work on it. I told myself that I couldn't do my next thing (see icon) until I finished it, though, so I'm grudgingly about halfway through. Seeing as it's blue I may enter it in next month's etsy beadweaver challenge, just as further get-er-done impetus.

But yeah, mostly... I don't know. Definitely still kind of low overall, and unsure how to break on through to the other side. Meanwhile... just keep swimming, I guess. Ah well. Off to make dinner.

A list

Feb. 3rd, 2014 10:25 pm
anagramofbrat: (nighty night)
The life of Andee has been both boring and incredibly... stressful isn't the right word. Collections of little things all demand my attention and wow they add up, lets just put it that way.

Friday: I took one of my leftover vacation days intending to spend it catching up on errands and sleep. That ended up not happening. Instead I accompanied the kids' grandfather to Auburn to pick up his new car, after which I got to head off in his old one to pick up the kidlets. It is looking likely that [livejournal.com profile] cell23 and I will be purchasing it, but in the meantime we're... I guess borrowing it? It's got a few problems and a ton of mileage, but it's a Honda so it should hold us until we scrape together enough for a newer one somehow. Meanwhile you would think driving all the way around the state would be stressful in itself and it was, but only because it had been six months since the last time I really got to drive further than up the hill and back and I am rusty at it, but being able to sail down the highway singing along to the radio? Food for the soul. It also meant we had happy awake children arriving at the house instead of sleepy cranky ones and that's a bonus.

The kids: Eh, maybe not a public post for that. They're fine, nothing huge, and we had a pretty good weekend but ... yeah. Stuff.

Cat drama: Oh Moony. He had about a week and a half of peeing like a normal continent cat and then over the weekend it got bloody, frequent and everywhere again. (thankfully, again, he is sticking to on plastic and other easy to clean surfaces.) For now, back on the antibiotics until I can get a urine sample down to the vets office and tested. Old man can't catch a break. In other news, the cats seem to have finally crossed the threshold into full acceptance of each other and the relative newcomer insofar as they can all be on the bed together snuggling the humans. Which is cosy and lovely.

State of the Me: Still fighting my way upwards through this latest round of ick, both in the headmeats and the near constant exhaustion... meats? At least part of it can be explained by a rougher than usual period and maybe a touch of seasonal affective disorder, hoping that February will herald brighter days. We'll see. Considering the cat, car and some family stress (two more members of my extended family have passed away in the past couple of weeks and while I was not close to either person, it's still messing with me) plus old headnoise I thought I'd made peace with rearing its ugly, hydra-like heads, managing myself is a bit of a challenge. Mostly dealing by hermiting, farting about on the net, and yeah I know I said I 'd take a break but I got really twitchy without a bead project so I started a bracelet to pass the time hahaha it's a problem I know shut up.

Very recent development: EPeen just decided to throw a temperamental old lady computer fit when trying to connect to the husbeast's online 13th Age session. Am now digging around in her brain trying to pull out why the webcam is not only not talking to the browsers, it's crashing them. She's probably overdue for this, she's been running like uphill flowing molasses lately. *sigh* I really need to start saving for her eventual successor. More shit to worry about, hooray.

Even more recent developments: Just got some terrible news about a friend. Right, out of can, going to flounce off and read Sano Ichiro for the rest of the evening. *sigh* I'd like a day that isn't a shit parade, plzkthnx.

New icon is appropriate.
anagramofbrat: (fuck you)
Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I'd like to think of it more as a list of worries. But I suppose by feeling the need to bitch about them, complaining may be a better word.

So. Things bugging me at the moment:

The weather: The good news is it is no longer polar expedition weather. The bad news is that today it is hovering just above freezing (warm, relatively speaking) and raining, which is making the world and especially the parking lot rather impossible to navigate at the moment because water on top of ice it is not quite warm enough to melt equals death. It'd be a lot easier to disregard this if I didn't have to worry about getting to burlesque and back seeing as I said I'd kitten tonight, and I don't want to be THE reason my ride decides to go against all other arguments. I mean, there's no way I'd be driving myself in this weather, so I feel really iffy about making someone else drive.

The car situation: we're pretty sure [livejournal.com profile] cell23's drive to work and back on Thursday was River's last hurrah. She had a couple of weeks of behaving more or less... not normally? but a lot better than she has been, but Thursday she pretty much refused to shift gears, so he's not driving her again. Meanwhile we're getting by on Zipcars and since it doesn't look like obtaining Roy's car is going to work out due to him suddenly moving in with his mother in Indianapolis, we're back to square one on the car purchase front, which means a whole lot of scraping together money we don't have. Kinda anxiously awaiting my W2s now so I can file and asap. The return won't be enough but it will help. This would also explain why I'm not driving myself to Burlesque. Or asking the husband to.

Moonbeam: seems to have a UTI again. Not super worried since she's otherwise acting normally and is not peeing outside the litterbox now that it's back up to her standards of cleanliness. (She's a passive aggressive pee-er, unfortunately, but thankfully only does it on easy to clean surfaces.) If she doesn't seem better by Monday I'll see about taking her in, but worrying about old Grandma cat on top of other things and smelling phantom lakes of pee all the time... sigh.

Dad: I've hit the point where I don't really want to deal with other people expressing sympathy about his passing anymore. Between my first normal in-office work week and bells starting back up this has been a whole new round of people who hadn't heard about it until now awkwardly expressing condolences and while I am outwardly gracious about it, inside I want to scream. It's also making me question my own grieving process, wondering why I've not been more devastated about him dying, wondering if I've gotten so good at suppressing this sort of thing that maybe I don't know I'm doing it anymore, and questioning not for the first time, if this sort of non-reaction to things is one of the many things about myself that seems (in my head) to point to some mild form of sociopathy.

Creative shit: I seem to have hit a bit of a wall with the current bead project. As in working on it has quite suddenly gone from a YESS GETTING SO MUCH DONE challenge to an UGH WHY AM I NOT FINISHED YET chore. The last few days getting myself to work on it has been excruciating. At the same time, probably in reaction to this, my brain keeps throwing other, new project ideas at me and I'm all FOR FUCK'S SAKE I NEED TO FINISH THIS ONE FIRST and then I look at how much more work I need to do on it and despair and waste time on tumblr, which doesn't help. Baaaaaaah.

Creative shit, house edition: In addition to nonconsensual beading project ideas, my head's gone into overdrive with home improvement ideas. Things like curtains, and whether it's more cost effective to make or buy them. (leaning towards buying - much of that has to do with an article I read recently on disposable culture, the cost of fabric and my own lack of time/spoons.) Like after three and a half years of living here, the expanse of bare white walls in here is driving me bonkers. The dead wall space on one side of the kitchen and, by contrast, the lack of enough counter space on the other. And on more basic levels, other shit. Dealing with the constant maintenance and clutter mitigation, and the fact that if I want to keep things to my mother's standards of proper orderly house, I'd either have to quit my job, give up crafting or give up sleeping, none of which I'm willing to do. There's the other thing where a lot of my AAGH MY HOUSE rages could be easily solved by throwing time and money at all of it. Guess what I don't have. I mean, it's okay right now - the house isn't filthy (impressive, considering 3 cats including one with the aforementioned bladder issues). Just... IDK. Kinda hyper aware that cell23 and I are pretty much doing the bare minimum to ensure it doesn't get that way, and it is much bugshit making.

Work: is kinda kicking my ass right now. That's all I'm gonna say publicly.

Etcetera: between the weather, my own headnoise, people moving away from Squire, kid weekends, and just general state of low level hating everything there have been long stretches of time where the only adult human being I interact with in real life for any significant length of time is the husbeast. These days I'm hermited down pretty hard so I'm okay with that, mostly, but the fact that I'm okay with that worries me. One of the reasons why I do ultimately hope I make it to Burlesque tonight, even if most of me is screaming to not have to dress up, to stay home and hide in my pajamas. That... doesn't seem healthy somehow. There's also being aware that I'm not 100% in the health department, but don't really have the brain or can to worry about myself on top of the aforementioned. Sigh.

So yeah. Problems. Most of which'll be solve-able given some time and patience, but I have a short supply of both at the moment. Still... getting them down did help. Sorta.

Oh well, back to the beads. *hate*

B(r)eads

Nov. 27th, 2013 01:11 pm
anagramofbrat: (ARBT logo)
I dragged out the breadmaker last night and cranked out three loaves of bread - one for us, two to take with us to NY. And I'm not done - some whole wheat and pumpkin are also planned. There might have been cackling and repeated exclamations of BAKE ALL THE BREADS while I did so.

Drew and I are heading down to NY with [livejournal.com profile] esotericscribe tomorrow. Prayer circle for us, lol.



9955 / 25840 beads. 58.56 rows. 38.526% done!




Can't see the forest for the trees. And the glare. Taking pictures of this thing is a right bitch.

Seeing as November ends on Sunday and this weekend is bound to be nuts I'm revising my goal count down a bit - from half done to 45%. I probably could bang out 18 more rows by Sunday, but I'd have time to do nothing else. 10 seems a bit more reasonable, though what will probably happen is I'll land somewhere in the middle. I'd be ok with that. Regardless, its still going MUCH faster than the Tetris one did - I didn't hit 39% on that until February. I mean I started it a couple weeks later in the year than this, but still I'm kinda boggled that I've managed to do in a wee bit under a month what took me twice as long last year. What a difference determination and a few improvements in technique make.

Anyway, time to fill my house with the smell of baking holiday stuff.
anagramofbrat: (dragon)


9350 / 25840 beads. 55 rows. 36.184% done!


I'll probably take pictures tomorrow cause you can actually see enough of the tree trunks to make it interesting.

1/3!

Nov. 24th, 2013 02:23 am
anagramofbrat: (yarr!)


7990 / 25840 beads. 50.676 rows. 33.34% done!


Whoop, 1/3rd through.
anagramofbrat: (game face)


7990 / 25840 beads. 47 rows. 30.921% done!


My end of month goal is half done: 76 trombones in the big parade rows. We'll see if I get there.

damn it

Nov. 22nd, 2013 12:50 am
anagramofbrat: (superfail)


7650 / 25840 beads. 45 rows. 29.605% done!


1 row. Yeeesh. But considering I've spent much of the evening scouting used car listings on the internet and stressing about River being terminal, if not quite yet dead... yeah.

Oh and I was going to elaborate on my rant about #feministselfie on Twitter earlier but it's late and I got other shit to deal with than internet shit.

I really wish these sorts of happenstances didn't immediately dredge up all my YOU FAIL AT LIFE HOW ARE YOU 35 AND NOT ON TOP OF YOUR SHIT YET crap.

44

Nov. 21st, 2013 12:33 am
anagramofbrat: (Default)


7480 / 25840 beads. 44 rows. 28.947% done!


Woot! I have gotten to row 44! Which means I'm done with the eye bleedingly difficult top foliage and next row begins tree trunks. I know that just made no sense whatsoever and I should probably repost the pattern but I'm lazy and I want to go bed down with my book and boy.
anagramofbrat: (spoon flower)


7058 / 25840 beads. 41.518 rows. 27.314% done!


Nothing on Monday and only a row and a half-ish done yesterday due to a sudden onset of deathly Vague Plague. it was not pretty - I went home early on Monday, and was feverish and miserable by the evening and mostly slept it off. Still not feeling too great as of this morning, but very grateful that I can work from home so I don't lose 2.5 days of work I actually get paid for.
anagramofbrat: (rip things in half)
First the non beading news. River seems to be joining the fantastic dying by degrees party and is grounded until [livejournal.com profile] cell23's next paycheck. We're hoping she just needs new transmission fluid and not, oh, a new transmission, in which case a new (to us) car might be in order. Not that we can afford one, but lets worry about that shit later.

In better news, yesterday was all kinds of fun. First some noodling around downtown Greenfield with [livejournal.com profile] deliriumdeva and [livejournal.com profile] cell23 looking for lunch. We ended up at a Korean restaurant, which was a bit of an adventure considering I'd never tried Korean, but I found a seaweed beef soup that was more than acceptable and I've gingerly tried kimchi and found that it's actually tasty. This was followed by the next stop in our Kidless Saturday Local Brewery Tours. (Seriously, we've been on three now, it's kind of a Thing.) This one was Lefty's - one, I love the name for obvious Reasons, and two, porters seems to be their specialty and porters and stouts seem to be the only beers that don't immediately taste like awful to me. (Another reason these brewery tours are kind of a hilarious thing for me to be tagging along to.) But anyway, they make a graham cracker porter (IKR?) that is more than acceptable, and the only other place that sells it isn't too far away, though I suppose it's not much harder to get it directly from the brewery.

The latter portion of my Saturday was supposed to be a trip down to Northampton to see HMS Pinafore with [livejournal.com profile] extrajoker and [livejournal.com profile] claxman, which did eventually happen, but due to Spontaneous Social Things, before the show I spent the hour beforehand having a light dinner and a draft cider with [livejournal.com profile] deliriumdeva, [livejournal.com profile] esotericscribe and [livejournal.com profile] avalon616 at the new McLadden's Pub, which I'll fully admit I've rather fallen in love with at first sight. I sorta wish I liked beer more - 101 on tap? OMG. Anyway, after that I met up with [livejournal.com profile] extrajoker and thoroughly enjoyed the performance of Pinafore, which I'd never seen live. It was admittedly a bit weird to hear music I primarily associate with Animaniacs and $amusement_park area incidentals in its original context, but the show is so raucously silly that I quickly got past the weirdness. :) After [livejournal.com profile] extrajoker dropped me home I found myself over at [livejournal.com profile] deliriumdeva's for a bit to wrap up the evening with some of the usual suspects - all in all a quite successful day.

Also I looked damn good:



Serving some American Horror Story Marie LaVeau realness, if I do say so myself.

Today? pajamas, antisocialness and BEADS BEADS OMG BEADS. My wrists are the sore of accomplishment, even if the side of my pinky's still a bit raw - I bought medical tape at CVS last night so that the thread would quit cutting into my finger when tightening it. Crafting injuries are so badass. *rolleyes*

Anyway, just completed row 40. 4 short of my goal for the weekend, but eh whatever, I don't actually want my hands to turn to useless noodles.And I've almost caught up from the several days of little or no progress so there's something.



It doesn't look like much yet because you can't tell that that's the tops of trees without, well, additional context. Also, shitty photo, but meh, I'll do better when it actually looks like something.



6800 / 25840 beads. 26.317% done!


And with that, to bed with me.
anagramofbrat: (team tatro (2012))
  • Oak Bluffs! I realize it's entirely fabricated to be as appealing to tourists as possible, but I can't help but be charmed by the rows of tiny brightly painted gingerbread houses crowded around little parks. It feels quite a bit like walking through one of those facade villages of a theme park, except that people are actually LIVING in those tiny houses.

  • Mad Martha's. Expensive, but man can they do a root beer float.

  • Ferry food. Good enough to distract me from my utter dislike of boats and open water.

  • Beach bonfire, even if we forgot the sticks to toast marshmallows.

  • Watching [livejournal.com profile] cell23 in full on Dad mode, chasing and getting chased by both of his children in the surf.

  • Realizing that this has been the longest period of contiguous time we've had the kids and kinda not wanting them to go home afterward.

  • Watching Kidzilla go from a shy retiring ghost to a giggly affectionate kid with the rest of my family.

  • Shaking my head at Nuke's burgeoning sea glass obsession. That's not hyperbole, she actually forbade anyone staying in the house to come back from the beach without at least one piece.

  • Skee ball.

  • Bunch of Grapes bookstore. Still proud of myself for managing to walk out of that place without buying, like, five blank journals.

  • Watching Kidzilla's face as she won at the arcade, tasted fudge, and hunted shells on the beach for the first time and loved every single second. Her and G getting on like a house on fire was pretty cute too.

  • Speaking of cute, Lil'Beast going hard with the big blue eyes and dimple charm and having almost everyone fall for it.

  • Getting to catch up with the fam was great for the most part. I realize I don't see anyone nearly enough.

  • Long periods of time just staring out at and being soothed by the sea.

  • Finally acquiring something with The Black Dog on it.

  • seeing bunnies everywhere this time instead of skunks.

  • taking mostly pretty fantastic pictures with my phone instead of having to drag out the Hatemonger.

  • Managing multiple trips to the beach without either dropping my phone into the ocean or getting it full of sand, nor sunburning. Not that I burn easily. Bonus for neither ghost pale child burning either. All hail good strong sunscreen.

  • Making good progress on Vulpix. (More on that later.)

  • Meeting up with [livejournal.com profile] cell23's family on the island after their arrival on Thursday.

  • Staying up late and getting punchy with Ale the last night there. Always terrified by how similar we sound when we laugh.

  • Coming home and having both cats instantly forgive us.



I think I'm okay with being back home and having to work tomorrow, except for still having a post-yard sale disaster still up in my house to clean up on top of unpacking. I'm trying not to twitch about it too much. I'm giving myself until Thursday to get it mostly handled; seems reasonable, right?

As for the island, another year of memories made. [livejournal.com profile] cell23 and I might return in October to celebrate our anniversary/my birthday, but even if not, there is always Christmas and next summer at Harthaven to look forward to.
anagramofbrat: (green things)
First off, it's humid as balls out there. I don't mind heat too much but between humidity and bugs summer and I don't much get along. :P

Despite this, yesterday and today managed to be good and productive and fun. It may also have been full of the instaspam. Starting to wonder if this iPhone nonsense was a huge mistake - I swear half my posts across various social media is just Instagrams. I'm kind of ashamed, lol. On the other hand part of the whole reason I wanted this damn thing was so I could take pictures willy nilly. Careful what you wish for, I guess.

But anyway. The weekend, in pictures, where applicable:

Lil'Beast, as always, wanted to go to the Jones Library. Kidzilla, not so much. Understandable because all Lil'Beast wants to do is hang out by the train table in the kids room and being 8 (going on 14 I swear sometimes), it's a bit of a young crowd for her. So we split the party, and she and I walked up North Pleasant Street instead, where I introduced her to The Toy Box (my second favorite local toy store behind A2Z) and then both of us decided to check out Glazed, the new doughnut shop in the Carriage shops.



That perspective is only a wee bit forced; that monstrous cinnamon bun was about as big around as her face. And yes, we split it. And OH MY GOD that may well have been the best cinnamon bun I have had in my LIFE. We met up with the gentlemen at FroyoWorld, where more sugar and photogenic kid moments ensued.



After Froyoworld, it was off to Cinemark for Monsters University. I was unsure what to expect, as it was the first time all four of us have gone to the movies, but Lil'Beast, other than one instance of forgetting where he was and starting to chatter at his sister, behaved himself admirably. As for the movie, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. not spoilery, but cut for the duncurr about pixar folks )

Post movie [livejournal.com profile] cell23 managed to coax Lil'Beast into getting a haircut while Kidzilla and I went to Claires, where we both got earrings (clips for her), and then we went home and had dinner at Frontier. Not a bad opening to Summer Vacation at all. And eee, hot dog earrings.



Oh and hey, Lil'Beast has ears! I forgot! I hadn't seen 'em in so long!



Today was significantly lazier (and hotter) but some productiveness was accomplished in that I finally managed to get to Annies to get gardeny stuff and spent about an hour or so putting in the truncated version of this year's garden. The two big pots are now home to cherry tomato plants (one black, one red) with a companion planting of purple basil. The basil in the window boxes are also back, though since I'm starting it from seed it's gonna be a while before it looks like anything in either location. I also now have habanero starters in one hanging basket and have sown pea plants in the other.



Meanwhile Spidey and the strawberry plant are recovering nicely from their frost scare a couple months ago.



So yeah, not nearly as ambitious as I planned w/r/t green things, but I am working on limited time and money this year. Just glad I have something in finally, and I await with baited breath the emergence of the basil and the peas.

Today continued to win - work on the Giant Bead Thing progresses, and I made a pretty decent pasta salad which passed muster with both picky kids. I did kinda want to get to the Mutton & Mead Festival this year, but ultimately I'm glad the kids didn't want to go - cell23's car is making a hideous grindy noise when braking lately and we've opted for keeping her off the road for now until we can get it looked at. Besides, with them here for a few extra days, I'm already hemhorraging money, and a ren faire on top of that would have just been overdraft central. So... next year. I'm good with that. Am now chilling and resting a wee bit on my laurels (and having some ice cream while I do so) before I run around the bedroom and pick it up a bit before Mysterious Work Stuff needs to happen tomorrow, but right now... breathing and happy that the past couple days have been the proverbial Good Days as preached by Ice Cube.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJ_jDNXN8U4
anagramofbrat: (no more caffeine for you)
I'm unsure of whether it's because I'm approaching the end of the Giant Bead Project or the temporary being off my brainmeds (combination of broke until this morning + can't be arsed to get down to CVS) or just being more distractable in general lately or procrastinating from stuff that I really Should Be Doing (there's a list) but lately my brain's been in creative overdrive to the point of it feeling like that bit in Kindergarten Cop when Ah-nuhld loses it in a class of five year olds and just howls "SHAAAAAAAAAAAAHHT AAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWP!!" at them. That's the problem with having sixty bazillion ideas, three creative projects in the fire, four books out from the library (well, no I don't but I could), a messy house and a full time nine to fiver. Well, in my case, eight to four thirty-er. But still, gods. Explain to me why humans require sleep again.

Still plugging away at the Giant Bead Thing, at 92% now. Had to take a couple of days off due to Reasons and aforementioned need for sleep. Also it seems my various attempts to free up my schedules are backfiring, as I seem to have gained a couple more social engagements just as I got rid of a few as a stress managing measure. Le sigh. I suppose I can't avoid people, just need to schedule stuff as best I can. Still at least these sorts of things are exciting.

Last Wednesday (I thought I'd posted about this, but apparently not) as part of the ongoing Wednesday One Shots people around Squire are doing this summer (basically a different person with a different group of volunteer players runs a single session tabletop game of whatever description), [livejournal.com profile] cell23 ran a session of 13th Age, which to my surprise I ended up enjoying immensely. Actually I think all present did - four of the original six are on board for a recurring game and we meet for character creation tomorrow. I had been trying to pull completely out of gaming this summer due to aforementioned overscheduled and stressed and due to one game imploding and successfully bowing out of the second had managed to clear my docket, and then this one came along and oops. It helps that I don't have to go further than my own kitchen for it, and I had been bugging [livejournal.com profile] cell23 to run something again, if only for the ongoing excuse to keep the kitchen clean. Sooo there's that.

I've been listening to a LOT of podcasts lately to keep myself sane at work. On people's recommendations, I've been checking out ones like Aisha Tyler's "Girl on Guy," "Paul and Storm Talk About Stuff for What Is Actually 20 to 30 Minutes," "Stuff you Should Know," "Radiolab" and "Hardcore History," which are all enjoyable listens. I have quite a crapton of NPR stuff as well. I don't know when I because That Person That Gets "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me," but apparently I am now. I also have some local stuff like "Mythspoken" and "Press Start to Continue" going (there will be a locked entry about the latter later) as well as some goth/industrial/EBM ones (why the hell has it taken me this long to discover [livejournal.com profile] theungodlyhour? The fact that they have a Livejournal account should tell you how long that one's been around). Oddly enough the ones I seem to return to and enjoying the most are the Nerdgasm Noire Network podcast (featuring five ladies I already followed on twitter discussing "nerd shit") and the various podcasts relevant to my interests put out by ThisWeekInBlackness.com, which have been both informative and funny and... I don't know, really resonant. I think I like both of them the most because they're done by groups of people that clearly care a lot about both their subjects and each other, and because the people "on air" are clearly quite good friends "off-air" as well a fair amount of reasonably good natured bickering and trolling ensues. I guess me being used to my own loud black family, that sort of vibe is one I get and gravitate to, which is probably why I've been enjoying those far more than the podcasts that only have a single host or maybe two.

Somewhat inspired by/related to this, there was yesterday... About a month ago I reached out to [livejournal.com profile] claxman and our mutual acquaintance NR with a "Hey! You're black, live in the Valley and nerdy. Lets do something with that." NR invited his friend K to join us and yesterday evening we all managed to clear just enough space in all of our schedules to meet up at Packards to discuss the idea. I think it went well - a bit disorganized, but it was late in the day, we were all fried and this is still in the beginning stages and nebulous so that's okay. We all came away with some ideas for future games, some worldbuilding and stuff that may evolve into a content portal/podcast of our own, which... damn. I've been trying to get something like this off the ground for the better part of a decade with various people; this is the first time that I'm even remotely hopeful something'll come of it. Schedules permitting, of course - all four of us are rather horrifically busy people. Still... excited. More as that develops.

Bringing it back full circle though... probably because of all of the above, not only were the usual suspects from Guardians and Gods bugging me this morning, two characters I hadn't heard from in a while got really froggy with me. Basically way back when I was in the beginning stages of planning a webcomic, but it didn't go anywhere due to some head-butting with the person I was working with and, the fact that I can't draw worth shit. Okay, that isn't exactly true - I actually can, but it is not at all effortless due to not having a natural knack for it and being a bit of a perfectionist to the point that things suffer, so the idea of me producing a comic on a basis more regular than once every, oh, I don't know, month? is kinda laughable. There were other Reasons, but meh. Anyway I shelved the two protagonists and the concept for the most part, though I did partially recycle them for Guardians and Gods... but anyway today they showed up and were like "OH HAI about that webcomic? So that thing you did yesterday? Maybe you'll have a platform for us now. What do you say? Oh and by the way, here's the rest of us." and then they brought out the rest of their family, which hadn't existed previously to 10am this morning, wtf, but they showed up, fully realized and I had to take a few minutes to sketch them down and make a few notes on them to shut them all up. Sheesh. As I lamented on Twitter earlier, why is it that my brain can't come up with single characters? Why does it have to vomit forth entire ensemble casts? I mean, for fuck's sake, Guardians and Gods is getting dangerously GRRM-y to the point where the idea of a wiki to keep all the characters straight was floated at the last Drinktank (which wasn't a half bad idea, but I haven't had the time to deal with that, let alone write the damn story).

And lets not talk about the gazillion nebulous bead-stuff ideas I have banging around - not only poke-coasters, but other stuff that surprise surprise, does not feature copyrighted characters. Like the bracelets I was working on a few years back with ascii art on them. Also see some kink-inspired chokers/collars. Dyeaaaaagh!

So yeah, things have been very busy upstairs in Andeeland. On the flip-side of that things have also been fractious and disjointed, but that's probably just me off my Wellbutrin - four days and I'm noticing what little ability to focus I have has completely gone to shit. Gonna see about getting that filled on Friday cause fuck this noise. That said, the fountain of creative misfiring is actually kind of nice and I intend to enjoy it while it lasts.

Completely unrelated to any of this, having gone through a fair amount of his discography on youtube other than "Thrift Shop" (which I LOVE mind, but I wanted to see the rest of his stuff) I think I've developed a wee bit of a fangirl crush on Macklemore. "And We Danced" and "Can't Hold Us" are seriously giving me all of the life right now.
anagramofbrat: (Default)
You know you've made the transition from student to townie when you successfully avoid the nightmare that is the area during graduation weekend, then happily anticipate the fact that THEY WILL ALL BE GONE after the weekend is over.

And then you remember that their absence mean all the bus schedules are drastically reduced and you swear a lot. :)

It's beginning to feel a lot like summer. Once again, we had a long winter, a couple weeks of something that could pass for Spring and then we have The Dark Times where the second floor of all the Squirepods is suddenly too warm to live. I'm looking forward to this summer weirdly enough - usually I hate this season, but I don't know, I'm feeling all weirdly anticipatory about this one, like something good's on the way.Nope, haven't the foggiest what.

Weirdly enough as the weather's gotten warmer the cats have both suddenly gotten VERY affectionate. More often than not, I wake up with all permanent denizens of House Browne-Tatro in the bed; manbeast at my back, Ash draped luxuriously across my feet, and Little miss Lilly curled up either by my stomach or pretty much wedged into my arms like a kid's stuffed animal. This would all be very adorable and snuggly if it weren't for a) allergy season in full force and cat by already itchy face = no b) aggressive cat snuggles are not very conducive to me getting up and out the door on time.

With some prodding/help from Drew and Caitlin, I managed to get down to the WMPE munch in Northampton last night. I had a decent enough time, I suppose, and any rate it was an excuse to revisit Pizzerio Paradiso which was quite good, if -yeesh- pricy. IDK, I'm trying to push myself out of my comfort zone some and put myself out there for more than just the usual suspects - I feel like I either get trapped up inside my own head too much, or I don't venture outside of squire, so I'ma try to address that by trying to push outwards a little bit.

I'm frustrated with my lack of progress on Neverwinter - I love the game, but I fucking never have time or spoons to play it. I suppose I should regard that as a good thing seeing as it means I have something of A Life, but arg! Sometimes all a girl wants to do is play video games!
But THINGS. *headdesk* if only I didn't need to sleep.

*insert usual mid-may ranting about The Season of Arboreal Fornication and the resulting itchy wretchedness*

*see also the Return of the Bugs*

A pox on Spring. :P

*sigh* yeah. I guess these days I'm no longer aggressively bitter about Mothers Day, but I'm still gonna be in my feels on Sunday, as I have been with every reminder that the damn day is coming up. Kinda glad that the morning will have a bell performance to distract me initially and then I guess the rest of the day will be aggressively ignoring the day as best I can with the kiddos here and doing my best not to eat their mother's face when she comes to pick them up. I should be nice to her anyway - I remember how rough that first Mothers' Day was after my own mom passed. *sigh* Feelings suck.

Ah, the Tatro Typhoon has arrived. Brat out.
anagramofbrat: (new york)
The timing certainly isn't the best, and completely apropos of nothing, tonight I find myself poking google for material on another urban disaster in Boston, separated from the events of yesterday by both intent, location and 97 years. The selection is sparing and surprising - so far I've only turned up two books about the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, one of which is considered the definitive work on the subject, the other, bizarrely enough, is a children's book.

I can't really do proto-research on this without also poking another disaster that occurred just three months before the Molasses flood, but in New York. Not all that far from where I grew up is a street named Empire Boulevard. No, it does not exactly warrant or live up to such a lofty moniker, but considering the street's old name (Malbone Street) and its association the horrifying subway accident that happened just beneath its western end, one could excuse the overreaching upgrade in terms of its name.

Funny how things become linked in my head. Being the extreme subway nerd that I am and the location, it's kind of a no brainer that the Malbone Street Wreck became sort of my pet disaster. It became linked to the Molasses Flood because the first time I brought cell23 down to Brooklyn to meet Dad & Co., we'd taken a walk through Prospect Park and for some reason ended up at the intersection of Ocean Ave, Empire and Flatbush Ave, where the Franklin Ave Shuttle tracks enter the Prospect Park station. So of course, I had to nerd out about exactly why all the trains entering and exiting the station were only using one of the two tracks. After I'd gotten that out of my system and we'd walked back into the park to head home, cell23 saw my pet disaster and raised it with his own: a 15 foot wave of molasses.

I don't know, it's one of those moments in a relationship that you remember at a random moment, shake your head and smile.

*sigh* maybe the timing isn't all that random honestly. Yesterday's bombing of the Marathon is punching me in some unexpected places, with also unexpected degrees of hardness. I am heartsick for my adopted state and its capital right now. I am horrified at the latest casualty counts, and at the deaths reported. I am saddened for the people who train so hard to run these races only to have their triumph tainted by something so senseless. I wince at the crackpots that came marching out of the woodwork ready to point fingers based on nothing and the people who have been and will be victimized because some people are racist shits. And I'm not going to lie, the coverage and the experiences of my friends trying to contact friends and family in Boston in the hours immediately following the bombing massively twigged me in my 9/11s. But I'm also heartened by some things in the aftermath, and honestly most of the response from my hometown in particular has very nearly brought me to tears a time or two in the past 24hrs, and I'll admit to losing it a little when [livejournal.com profile] cell23 retweeted the message of support for the Red Sox from the fucking Yankees. They're even gonna play "Sweet Caroline" during tonights game. Y'all. Y'all, what the fuck. I can't even with that, thinking about it makes me choke up again.

It's so easy to be cynical when something like this happens, to bark at the Internet that you've given up on humanity, drop the mic, and exit stage left. This morning Patton Oswalt wrote far more eloquently than I ever could about why that's an abysmal attitude to have. Long ago the late great Mr. Rogers addressed how to deal with seeing scary things on the news: "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." Wise, that man was, or perhaps more accurately, his mother was. But yeah, the immediate aftermath of a terrible event is no time to be cynical; rather it's a time to help, or at least be kind. The time for cynicism will come later. And boy howdy, will it ever come. But not yet.


Before I sign off, I did want to note what happened last night: [livejournal.com profile] inle_rah is moving, and on Sunday? morning I got a message on Facebook asking if I wanted to take the clothes she was getting rid of for various reasons, seeing as a good chunk of it was about my current size. Not realizing what I was setting in motion, I said sure. I fucking love it when friends give away clothing because it saves me the trouble of getting off my ass and going shopping for myself, a much loathed activity.

I was expecting a few items, not three giant garbage bags crowding out all available space in [livejournal.com profile] extrajoker's trunk. O_O We started unpacking and sorting it all in my living room and it quickly became clear that there was more there than I could possibly deal with (and 90% of it was cute!) so I put a cattle call out to the Squire ladies to come help themselves. Less than 20 minutes later my living room contained six (later seven) giggling women in various states of undress trying on and shrieking delightedly over various items and how they all looked. We stayed there and played dress-up for a couple of hours, terrifying cats, husbands and the section of Squire facing our living room window with the cackling, squeeing and giggling. In the end, 5 out of 7 of us, myself included, left with a pile of things and a spontaneous evening well enjoyed. It was a nice distraction at least from earlier events, which I think all present needed. And I have new, cute clothes that actually fit, including some work appropriate stuff, some hang around the house stuff, and my first ever pair of Tripp pants, which I've coveted lustily for, gods, almost two decades? and never had the nerve to buy. Cannot wait to bring the 1997 goth realness, maybe to Burlesque? (Meanwhile my husband is HORRIFIED by them, teehee.)

And now back to my stories and beads...

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