anagram of brat

I suppose I should talk about meeeeeeeeeee via meme

2023-06-16T16:09:08Z

stolen from cora (by way of jo ) cause I love me a questionnaire (I wonder if somewhere on DW someone's still doing Friday Five?):

Is there an interesting story behind your username?

My actual initials are ARBT. The interesting part of the story is that I decided on this username before I legally acquired the T, and it's in fact the ONLY reason why I hyphenated my last name when I married Husbeast. He was actually baffled that I wanted to take his at all.

And anyone that knows me understands that "brat" is and always was a large chunk of my identity.

Location and language(s):

The "Here be dragons" end of Massachusetts (Northeastern USA), which amuses me because clearly the dragons in question are college students, supercilious academics, queer people of all descriptions (yay!) and cows.

English is my language, though I used to be near fluent in French, conversational in Russian and knew enough Spanish to be reasonably functional thanks to a Tejana sister-in-law and bilingual signage all over NY.

Age range (e.g 20s, 30s, etc.):

I turn 45 in October. I'm in that murky generational transition period often referred to as "Xennial" -- basically the rapid transition from analog to digital and the explosion of personal computer tech corresponds directly to how long I've been alive. Even though I'm a hair older than the oldest of the "geriatric millennials" (lololol) I have much more in common with them than to true Xers.

Hot button/deal breaker issues that will likely lead to unfriending:

I'm a polyamorous bi/pan Black AFAB who is gender- and -neurospicy and fiercely leftist. Like truly liberal not the light conservative that passes for liberal in these united states. "Woke," if you will. I don't really believe in organized religion but as long as adopting an us vs them mentality and manipulating others into joining your faith is not a major part of your practice I'm absolutely chill with you. I like to refer to myself as a lapsed pagan, lol. I believe in compassion, dignity and human rights for everyone regardless of whether I agree with your life choices or not, and I'm a strong advocate of examining one's complicity in the white supremicist kyriarchy we all find ourselves living under.

If any of that bugs you, I invite you to maybe reflect on why, but I'm not interested in defending or debating any of the above.

Oh and get your goddamn vaccines, damn it.

Do you have an "About Me" post new friends can read to get a sense of who you are, the people you talk about regularly, etc.?

I don't think I've written one in about a decade? its been a bit since I felt the necessity, as I had stopped writing here and migrated to other socials in the mid to late 10s like a lot of people. Hence this post.

Is your profile up-to-date or at all useful?

um... good question? lemme look...

....well, aside from the fact that my fucking ICQ number is still listed (is that even a thing anymore?) yeah, it's still accurate. Guess keeping it short and simple was the pro move. But really these days if you're looking for me, just search for this handle. I haven't changed my online branding since 2012 and considering it's attached to a few still ongoing side hustles, it's not going away.

I do feel a little sad about the circle of names from both here and Livejournal that are long defunct though, which is 90% of them.

List a few things you think it's important new friends know about you right away:

I swear like a drunken dockworker but I'm really very nice and funny, I promise. And I only bite with enthusiastic consent.

Oh! that's a thing. I am sex and sex-worker positive and fierce about it. Not quite a dealbreaker, but don't get SWERFY about it.

You mostly write about:

Day to day stuff, my mental health, how I'm doing, people I love/interact with, things I think about, music I'm participating in or listening to, cats. I don't think I get mad political but that's because my entire existence is political and not easily extricated. Make of that what you will.

You never or very rarely write about:

Listen there is sooooooooooooo much word vomit potential in this brain, I'm not ruling out any topics.

Is your journal mostly public, locked, or a mix of public and locked?

This journal is mostly friends only except for a few introductory entries. I'm not super concerned about my privacy but I prefer generally having an idea who knows about how deep the neurodivergent rabbit hole is lol

Do you use filters for certain types of posts (e.g. fandom-related posts, or posts about sex, or mental health issues, etc.)?

Not really anymore? I have... other journals... for seriously explicit stuff (though I haven't used them in a bit). I'll try to be a bit better about content warning/tagging/entry cutting for the spicier stuff though, but I've never had a concern.

Your posting frequency (e.g. daily, every few days, weekly, etc.):

Of late (*cough* read since the Brain Asplode of February 2023 *cough*) its been more or less weekly, which a slow ramp up from nearly never. I'm aiming for at least once every 2-3 days.

Does your journal frequently include any of the following: memes, linkspams, gifs, photos, videos, etc?

in the old days it did. But these days I have tumblr and insta for memes and photos and links and videos go on Facebook. I do occasionally crosspost images/gifs here if they are relevant to the entry in question

What do you enjoy most about journaling?

I love blathering about what all is going on in my head, and I've gotten to the point of my life where almost no one asks anymore which apparently does a severe number on my self-esteem. Also while it was okay before it got all about the Al Gore Rhythm, short form social media was just easier because i could fire off a quick thought and move on, but things are so based on Gaining Engagement now, and I feel like true connection via other SM platforms is getting lost. One of the things I mourn with the death of LJ and other long form social media is the complete lack of any sense of... intimacy? it's all very surface and superficial and curated; no one gets really open and raw and REAL anymore. I'm not interested in perfection, I wanna see your mess so I can feel better about mine!

How often do you read your friends list (e.g. daily, every other day, once a week, etc.)?

I read daily. The days of five minute refresh are over, alas, but I do read every entry.

You really enjoy reading about:

Other people's lives. What they care about. What they're scared of. What cute thing their kids or friends or significant other did they felt was worth noting. How That Coworker annoyed them today. Having to go through Scary Medical Procedures. What Silly Stuff on the Internet caught people's attention. Really just anything, I love hearing about all of it.

You have very little interest in reading about:

uhhh, well provided you aren't a total clueless bigot, I don't think anything is off the table? I will probably skip over anything Harry Potter related though. Not that I don't like the books themselves, but I don't believe in lining JK Rowling's pockets while she throws her HP funded and fuelled platform behind invalidating trans people. Which sucks, because I was an avowed Puffle before she decided to fully show her entire ass.

Your thoughts on journals that regularly include any of the following: memes, linkspams, gifs, photos, videos, etc?

I don't mind them. These days I'd probably just be surprised to see any of that stuff here, if you know what I mean.

When it comes to comments on your posts, what matters more -- quality or quantity?

I don't care, honestly. I like knowing I'm not entirely shouting into an unresponsive void, but I'm also not going to be butthurt if you only comment when the spirit strikes you.

Do you unfriend people who don't comment much, even if you know they are reading you regularly?

What? No! The fuck? That's dumb.

What is your approach when it comes to commenting on other journals?

If I have a particular need to respond to or validate something I read, I will. If I don't, I won't. cora did say something in her answe about missing the simplicity of a like button but also being glad dreamwidth doesn't have one because it forces you to think a little bit more about engaging with content a bit more than simply doubletapping.

When you friend someone, but things don't really click, do you unfriend them without warning, or do you send them a note first? How do you prefer to be unfriended in similar circumstances?

...yeah, unless I know you in real life or long enough that we can properly be considered friends, I'm not super pressed if you show yourself the door without explanation, and vice versa. If there's already an established relationship at play anything that would warrant unfriending would generally also warrant an Actual Off-Journal conversation.

Friending memes often ask people to list their favourite TV shows, movies, books, etc., but more often than not, those aren't things people actually write about in their journal. Do you have any favourite TV shows, movies, books, etc., that you DO often write about -- not necessarily in a fandom sort of way, just in general?

That I write about regularly? not that I can think of. I may mention in passing media I consume and like in my entries and once in a while a particular thing with still that it gets mentioned repeatedly (I think right now the only media that would qualify would be Our Flag Means Death... SEASON 2 WHEN, HBO???) but the thing about having a very widely scattered and diverse set of interests and tastes is that my attention is held by different things at different times and the landscape is always shifting.

Any final thoughts you'd like to share with potential new friends?

To borrow an idea from a recent bit of writing: "Welcome to the Brat Existential Crisis. Please ensure your safety harness is fully in the down and locked position. Please keep all arms and legs inside the car at all times. In case of emergency the exits are here, here, here, here, here, here anywhere, and thank you for riding. Enjoy your trip!"

friending meme.|one of a different sort|

THIS WAY

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Two in one day? shocked pikachu

2023-06-15T00:15:29Z

Sooooo I've been craving more active DW interaction so I did something I haven't done since the wild west of LJ - did a search of recently updated accounts (in this case reasonably local to me) and friended people that I seemed to vibe with. If you're one of those people, hi! I promise I'm not a huge creep, just really really tired of short form social media and hoping to make a few more connections here. :) If I don't actually vibe with you, feel free to unfriend, no harm no foul. :D

PS I am Internet Old, and use :) un passive-aggressively.

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Grief is a big bitchy ball right now

2022-09-26T13:46:24Z

We all familiar with Lauren Herschel's ball in a box explanation of grief? No? Go read, I'll wait.

( CW: pet death )

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I don't even know how to title this.

2019-03-29T16:09:23Z

I wish I had time/energy to post about good shit going in my life. Because there's a lot of that and it's wonderful and deserves to be recorded. But no, I seem to just revert to posting here when the bad shit happens.

Right now "the bad shit" is my ex-wife, her essay on Medium about consent (which I will not link to), and my hyper-triggered reaction to accidentally encountering it by way of a friend's Facebook post.

I have no fault with the topic, nor the writing on the surface of it. C is a fantastic writer. I loved her once for it. The essay itself is well-written and has some great observations about the weird liminal spaces between an enthusiastic yes and a flat no that can crop up w/r/t consent. These are important things to consider. I just... don't think she's the right person to deliver this message, considering our decade-plus long relationship and what ultimately ended it almost exactly a decade ago.

I'm not at all saying I am blameless in what went down. One of the hardest things I've had to come to terms with in the time since was the fact that I had perpetuated multiple consent violations within that relationship. Sure, I have defenses and reasons for them, but they still happened, they had impact, and I am responsible for those. Because of that, It would never occur to me to present myself as an authority on establishing, enforcing, encouraging or respecting proper boundaries. I don't necessarily feel like my past problems with it would disqualify me entirely from speaking on the matter, but I do not feel that I am in any position to instruct on how to do it properly. Maybe if I presented it from the perspective of having fucked this up royally in the past it would be some semblance of acceptable, but I feel like it would run the risk of being a mea culpa and not an effective addition to the conversation.

If the essay in question is any measure, C remembers my failings as well. She has also clearly and conveniently either forgotten her own, or is choosing to omit them from her presented narrative. I'm not ultimately angry they've written the thing? It would be a great piece from anyone else. But because my experiences with her run counter to how she is presented in her written work, plus the fact that she clearly states her desire to get her perspective out into the wider world, my initial reaction to it was to spend a good portion of my morning at my desk, trying to quiet my shaking hands and the dim threat of violently losing my breakfast. Several hours and a cooler head later, I am not sure this reaction was incorrect.

The question I am left with; is the message worthless if the messenger is less than perfect? This calls to my mind other important topics in the news regarding the correctness of supporting and enjoying art made by people later revealed to be at best deeply flawed and at worst morally reprehensible people, but also how common a tactic it is to find any means of discrediting a victim of abuse brave enough to come forward and how one must be a "perfect victim" to retain any credibility against a perpetrator with more power and/or social capital. In light of the above, does C's essay lose all value to the greater conversation? And if the message indeed has value and serves the greater good, does that mean that my response to it does not? I honestly do not have an answer.

A gray area between yes and no, indeed.

Leaving public, disabling comments.

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH flailing

2017-07-16T01:01:56Z

So Madeline L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time is in my top five for books I would read and reread and reread growing up. I still have my Bantam paperback edition somewhere, but it's so old and decrepit that I'm pretty sure the scotch tape holding it together in some places has aged to the point of giving up. It's funny because someone gave me the book when I was seven or eight and I distinctly remember failing to get into it at all the first couple of attempts, and then for some reason the third time I finally made it past Mrs Which (chapter 3) and stayed up all night to finish it, cursing myself for an idiot the whole way. After which I snatched up A Wind In the Door and loved the hell out of that one too. (Interestingly enough I did not care for A Swiftly Tilting Planet, and even though I was excited when it came out Many Waters disappointed me as well. (Mostly because I just didn't care about Sandy and Dennys nearly as much as I did Meg and Charles Wallace... which I still pronounce in my head as "Wallance" even though I realized I'd been misreading it years ago.)

That said... I tend to be very forgiving of adaptations to the point where I look at people that are all like "yes but the movie failed to match the pictures in my head so I wish it didn't have the same title because ITS NOT THE SAME STORY" like they sprouted third noses. I mean... OF COURSE it doesn't match what you imagined, you didn't make the movie or TV show, chill out.

I kinda groaned when I heard Disney was taking another stab at AWiT, because hoo boy, the miniseries they did about 15 years ago was pretty dire. While I thought casting the weird creepy kid from The Ring as Charles was inspired, the rest of it was a waste of Alfre Woodard. (To be fair, it was only distributed by Disney... but still.) And then I heard Ava DuVerney was directing and I was like OOOHHHH OKAY lets see how this goes. And then I shook my head as the Greater Racist Internet lost their shit that they cast a black girl as Meg which... OMG I have feels about that, namely that I am 100% okay with one of my fictional childhood heroes LOOKING LIKE ME, I would have killed for that as a kid. (White people, get a goddamn grip, you can stand to let us have a few of your characters out of the bazillion that represent you.) And then I kinda completely forgot about it until there were some production photos released this week ahead of D23, and I was like "wait, Oprah, Mindy Kaling and Reese Witherspoon as the Mrs Ws? Okay..." And then the teaser dropped this afternoon and HOLY SHIT.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. I literally started hyperventilating with excitement the first time I watched it.

( Cutting for book spoilers and gifs )
So I would say A+++ super hyped here, with a note of caution cause... I've been burnt by trailers before. But I think Ava DuVerney's got this one.

March can't get here fast enough.

EDIT: The omission of the period after "Mrs" for Whatsit, Who and Which was a stylistic choice by the author. Meg's mother, when referred to as Mrs. Murray, has the period. Just in case anyone was feeling like grammar checking me here.

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This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. This is only a test.

2011-07-29T16:59:01Z

[insert high-pitched double-tone here]

I'm just noodling about with my Dreamwidth account, which only gets any attention during LJ outages. Not migrating permanently over here or anything (though I probably will suck over all three or four of my LJs over here just for additional backup purposes), but setting stuff up in case of marauding Russians (of course not counting harinezumi.

Also if you have a DW account and you haven't added me to your circle, please do so.

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I'm not actually here

2011-01-12T14:40:01Z

I'm over at LJ still (same name). I just like claiming my username around the net. And having access to people's entries over this way.

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