I don't get it either. When I am dead, I hope whoever gives a damn will have a big old weep fest, and then a ridiculously awesome party. But, honestly, at that point I won't know or care what folks do. If whoever it is decides to go on a Pentecostal prayer retreat, it'll be no skin off my nose.

So, if the family are downplaying all this, I guess it's what they want/need to do to get through their grief. Seems strange to me, and I'm a Yankee, for god's sake. :)

I hope you all weather the storm as best you can, and there's no shame or blame in doing something on your own. Maybe it would help the kids deal?