anagramofbrat: (covered in bees)
So Madeline L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time is in my top five for books I would read and reread and reread growing up. I still have my Bantam paperback edition somewhere, but it's so old and decrepit that I'm pretty sure the scotch tape holding it together in some places has aged to the point of giving up. It's funny because someone gave me the book when I was seven or eight and I distinctly remember failing to get into it at all the first couple of attempts, and then for some reason the third time I finally made it past Mrs Which (chapter 3) and stayed up all night to finish it, cursing myself for an idiot the whole way. After which I snatched up A Wind In the Door and loved the hell out of that one too. (Interestingly enough I did not care for A Swiftly Tilting Planet, and even though I was excited when it came out Many Waters disappointed me as well. (Mostly because I just didn't care about Sandy and Dennys nearly as much as I did Meg and Charles Wallace... which I still pronounce in my head as "Wallance" even though I realized I'd been misreading it years ago.)

That said... I tend to be very forgiving of adaptations to the point where I look at people that are all like "yes but the movie failed to match the pictures in my head so I wish it didn't have the same title because ITS NOT THE SAME STORY" like they sprouted third noses. I mean... OF COURSE it doesn't match what you imagined, you didn't make the movie or TV show, chill out.

I kinda groaned when I heard Disney was taking another stab at AWiT, because hoo boy, the miniseries they did about 15 years ago was pretty dire. While I thought casting the weird creepy kid from The Ring as Charles was inspired, the rest of it was a waste of Alfre Woodard. (To be fair, it was only distributed by Disney... but still.) And then I heard Ava DuVerney was directing and I was like OOOHHHH OKAY lets see how this goes. And then I shook my head as the Greater Racist Internet lost their shit that they cast a black girl as Meg which... OMG I have feels about that, namely that I am 100% okay with one of my fictional childhood heroes LOOKING LIKE ME, I would have killed for that as a kid. (White people, get a goddamn grip, you can stand to let us have a few of your characters out of the bazillion that represent you.) And then I kinda completely forgot about it until there were some production photos released this week ahead of D23, and I was like "wait, Oprah, Mindy Kaling and Reese Witherspoon as the Mrs Ws? Okay..." And then the teaser dropped this afternoon and HOLY SHIT.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. I literally started hyperventilating with excitement the first time I watched it.

Cutting for book spoilers and gifs )
So I would say A+++ super hyped here, with a note of caution cause... I've been burnt by trailers before. But I think Ava DuVerney's got this one.

March can't get here fast enough.

EDIT: The omission of the period after "Mrs" for Whatsit, Who and Which was a stylistic choice by the author. Meg's mother, when referred to as Mrs. Murray, has the period. Just in case anyone was feeling like grammar checking me here.
anagramofbrat: (covered in bees)
So I'm babysitting L's car for the week while she's out of town/her street's getting repaved. This is awesome! We have an extra car for the week, which is really helpful cause kids' swim lesson happens before Drew gets home from work so getting the kids there isn't a huge hassle. (It IS possible by bus, but...) Husbeast had some concerns about this, mainly of the "its not your car! What happens if there's a problem??" variety but considering 98% of my time as a licensed driver has been (carefully) operating Other People's Cars including his, I waved him off as being his usual level of worrywart.

And then of course, yesterday as the kids and I were getting home from pool and dinner, I noticed one of the local townie cops was tailing me into the turn lane, and the lights go on halfway into the Squire driveway.

Well, fuck.

Before anyone super freaks out, nothing happened. The officer was polite, professional, and just wanted to let me know I had a brake light out. (This is, I might add, only the second time I have ever been pulled over while behind the wheel.) But let me run down the various Why The Situation Was Way More Scary Than It Should Have Been:

  • Considering what the news has been like lately? Just that alone right there is enough to put the fear of God into anyone darker than printer paper.

  • I'm not driving my car. My name and address are so nowhere near L's it's hilarious. Also where she lives isn't exactly known for car security.

  • I've got two super white, blue eyed children in the car to whom I have pretty plainly not given birth to, at least one of which is freaking out more than a little (thankfully, quietly) due to previous Not Fun experiences with pull-overs.

Like I said nothing happened this time, but since then I've been running through ways that could have gone nightmarish. What if I hadn't had a spotless driving record? What if Wee Beast had been a little louder about how scared he was? What if they had been the same color as me? And then my brain really got on the panic hamster-wheel with the what-ifs, but I'll spare y'all that noise. I mean, honestly if that encounter was going to badly, lets be real, none of the above matters in the slightest.

Again, not a huge deal, we're all okay, but... fuck, the world sucks, and I shouldn't have to be this conscious of how lucky I am that my circumstances made this into a footnote rather than a hashtag.
anagramofbrat: (fuck you)
Dearly beloved
We are gathered here today
2 get through this thing called life
Electric word, life -
It means forever and that's a mighty long time
But I'm here 2 tell u
There's something else:
The afterworld

A world of never ending happiness
U can always see the sun, day or night

So when u call up that shrink in Beverly Hills
U know the one, Dr. Everything'll Be Alright
Instead of asking him how much of your time is left
Ask him how much of your mind, baby

'Cuz in this life
Things are much harder than in the after world
In this life
You're on your own

And if de-elevator tries 2 bring u down
Go crazy - punch a higher floor

2016, I am fucking DONE with you professionally.
anagramofbrat: (nighty night)
  • Last monday I rolled a 1 on a paralell part attempt. Actually the amount of fail may be better expressed as the legendary old World of Darkness triple botch. I pulled into the space completely wrong and managed to wedge both my right tires against the curb in a way that nearly made it impossible to move the car at all, let along pull out of the space. I also had maybe three inches of clearance between my bumper and the car in front of me. Suck, but the only reason I mentioned it is that I very nearly had a meltdown over it bad enough that when I calmed myself down an hour or so later (yes, long after I'd managed to escape the godforsaken space and part somewhere easier), both cell23 and I decided I needed to call the doctor and either have my meds addressed, be referred to someone or both. Several emails later (yes, my doctors respond to email and it is awesome), I have an appointment on the 18th, and am on day three of taking double the dose of Wellbutrin I was on. Things are better, but that may just be the higher dosage messing with me.

  • The husbeast and I carpooled down with House Henderson-Jenkinson yesterday to visit the McGurks and for the lady half of the six to go shopping. This turned out to be a lovely saturday spent with chosen family, and it ended with cell23 and deliriumdeva roasting chicken and veggies for the lot of us, so we had a lovely family style dinner to have together as well. And I got tipsy on this purple vodka stuff that tastes like syrupy Dimetapp and is all purple and swirly, like someone pureed a unicorn and made it into booze. Viniq, I think it's called. Certainly the prettiest booze I've ever imbibed.

  • It was finally honest to goodness warm today. HUZ-fucking-ZAH.

That's about all I have to consciousness for.
anagramofbrat: (fruitviking)
Ugh wow yes stuff, junk and things and real life and headcrap and Things That Suck on the news and me not posting cause lazy tired and depressed.

But then there was a movie where a bunch of pretty people punched robots and it was really really fun, so there's that.

I do need to make a Big Important Post about Things though.
anagramofbrat: (pissed aku)
Okay I need to rant for a minute. Apologies in advance if this rambles or ends up making no sense, I'm just... REALLY ANNOYED. About toys.

I was born about a year and change after Star Wars came out for the first time. That's long enough ago to remember when the very first movie only had a two word title. I was too young to catch the phenomenally better Empire Strikes Back (again, before episode numbers), but I remember being super excited about seing Return of the Jedi with my siblings when that came out. I have very clear memories of playing hard with my friends various related action figures, re-enacting the rebel attack on the Death Star with all the PEW PEW five-year-olds can wring out of their small bodies and zooming around the playground with tiny TIE fighters and X-wings clutched in grubby little hands. But sometimes we acted out other scenes with the action figures, which would often result in squabbles between the girls in my small group of kindergarten friends because we all wanted to be Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan.

Looking back, yes, it's rough that of the prominent characters throughout the three original movies only two were not both white and male. (Darth Vader does not count, just because you can't SEE his pasty scarred whiteness under that all black suit... never mind). Its not news that mainstream science fiction has a representation problem, and we're talking over 30 years ago here. Still we did have Leia. She never missed with a blaster, stood up to the Empire pretty much by herself for half the movie, and despite seeing her home planet obliterated by said Empire after hours? days? of torture, still had enough moxie in her to immediately sass the stormtrooper busting into her cell for his height. Sure she was the token lady in the ensemble, but she was also awesome. Sure, we fought over her figure because there weren't other girl characters to play and lets be real, none of us wanted to be the droids. But we also wanted to be Leia because we wanted to pew pew the hell out of some stormtroopers. She does that. Several times. Did I mention she's also a princess? Icing on the awesome cake.

Fast forward to now. We have another movie in the same cultural sphere about to be released: Marvel's Avengers: Age of Ultron. This movie has two women prominently featured taking names and kicking all of the ass - Black Widow and Scarlet Witch. But this time? there are no action figures of either woman for the current crop of five year old girls to even think about quarreling over. There were no Gamora or Nebula figures available for last year's Guardians of the Galaxy either. In fact, action figures of women are missing almost entirely from the increasingly segregated-by-gender toy aisles of Insert Department Store Here. Though there are aspects of her characterization and costuming that pander to teenage boys in need of eye candy, Black Widow is as much a part of the Avengers team as Cap or Tony or Thor or the big green dude punching things over there, and putting in just as much work for the team, if not more. Hell, Hawkeye was barely in the first Avengers movie and he still got toys.

I'll admit I was fully expecting this to happen, so it was with no surprise and a heavy amount of sighing that I instagrammed the Marvel section of the Target aisle, pointing out Widow's absence. In response on my facebook I got linked to an article on The Mary Sue positing Disney as the potential problem in this scenario. Seeing as Disney has the girls' market firmly cornered with the Princess line, it makes a sad sort of sense that they would use Marvel to corner the boys demographic as well. A rage-inducing sad sort of sense.

So here we are, Age of Ultron is about to come out and there is no Widow or Witch merch to be seen, and it's probably a little late to really do something about that. However another there's another huge franchise recently acquired by Disney with a higly anticipated movie on the horizon, which of course would be Star Wars: The Force Awakens. I am very very VERY afraid that once again there will be nothing associated with it either for girls or representing girls, and considering there are at least four female characters cast, that would be unacceptable on so many levels.

It says something when a woman is shown kicking ass and taking names on screen, possibly as much as her male counterparts, and yet she is not deemed worthy enough to stand with her team on merch, nor be represented by having her own toys. It says something insidious and nasty to the current crop of five year old girls who dont get an action figure to quarrel over or a hero of their own to wear on a shirt/backpack/whatever, for no other reason than "oh... boys won't buy it if there's a woman on it." I'm not at all happy about any of these messages, y'all... and I hate that this current generation of little girls are being cheated out of their "Leias" because they exist in universes marketed exclusively to boys.

Even if they happen to also be princesses.
anagramofbrat: (sexytime!)
Yesterday was the Bon Appetit Burlesque Nerd Show V, and I was asked to reprise my Sad Minecraft Zombie act from the Tassel Tussle, so stressing over that pretty much ate me over the past couple weeks. Thankfully it went very well and I'm happy with the tweaks I managed to make to both act and costume, and once again people LOVED it. Apparently I manage to do sexy/funny/adorkable very very well and it works. So yay for that. The few amusing drawbacks is that the day after I am physically wrecked - I don't know how or what I did or what but I woke up and EVERYTHING hurt... maybe just a massive release of tension + my usual monthly burlesque drop? - and owing to setting my thoroughly caked on green cream makeup with green glitter hairspray, parts of me remain faintly green after a day, heavy duty makeup remover and a very scrubby shower. Luckily above the neck so I'm still work safe, but still. Also sharpie bleeds through tights so my butt still reads "Steve - call me!! XOXO" Or at least I assume it does, I haven't checked.

So yeah that's done, onwards to the next thing right?

Not too much else going on - looking forward to the premiere of Horses, Tits & Horses, Tits & Horses, Tits & Horses tonight*, have to do something about dealing with my taxes within the next few days (ugh!), clean my house, get my money in order, send in Mystery Application, and worry about Other Things I can't post publicly about and how on earth I'm going to resurrect EPEEN. Also should catch my minecraft blog up, haven't had much chance or brain to post there either.

OH! while doing last minute show stuff Friday night, Husbeast and I binged halfway through Daredevil. WOW. Marvel keeps amping their A game with every new piece of the MCU. I am thoroughly enjoying this latest installment.

Lastly it is lovely and warm today. No real green things going yet but I did see some hungry looking finches hanging out in the as yet bare maple tree outside so I bought birdseed this afternoon and hung up my feeder. It'll take a few days for them to discover it, but once they do the neighborhood cats'll have some food porn to watch before the leaves come in. Spring, y'all.

* sing this to the tune of the Game of Thrones theme.
anagramofbrat: (my friends need to be punished)
I usually do SOMETHING little and non-asshatty for April Fools, but couldn't muster up the care for it this time. Oh well. Thankfully my day has been pretty devoid of pranks. I don't have really have the brain for them today.

I find myself wondering more and more seriously if I should try to get back into therapy, because meds and Ongoing Possibly Worsening Issues and Bullshit I Am Not Getting Over By Myself. Talk therapy doesn't seem to work for me all that much, though - my need to please authority figures at all costs to keep from "getting in trouble" kicks in and surfaces don't get scratched. See also I don't want to try to find a kink and poly friendly WOC therapist in Whitey White McWhiteville Massachusetts. I'd be better off finding unicorns on Mt. Sugarloaf.

Have signed up for and was all set to go to next Monday's poly gathering but saw C's name on the guest list and am now revising that idea. *sigh* Speaking of Bullshit I Am Not Getting Over By Myself. Considering those scars have been reopening with a vengeance over the past two months I really have to wonder if I'm ever going to get to a place where that shit won't hurt me anymore, and part of me is thinking if I haven't gotten there yet, maybe I won't. Is that okay? I don't know. Probably not.

A full week after his ordeal, and Mr Beams is coming to the end doses of his medications and seems to be doing ok. Hoping that means I can have my bathroom back soon and start dousing my house in oxiclean.

This weekend: braid dark green yarn into hair, pull out the boxes, figure out burlesquey stuff. I have a week and a half. Yikes. Oh and Easter stuff too.

Tomorrow - Doctors and Errandry hooray.

Now - Alas, disturb a comfy, purring Lily and hie myself to bells. No rest for the wicked.
anagramofbrat: (ed)
The patient is recovering. slowly. Will be glad when this latest go round of medicine and ick subsides - Beam's clearly still irritated and crystally and as a result, eschewing the litter box. SIGH. When all is said and done, investing in a small spot carpet steamer might be a good idea. :P

Still, I have never been so glad to wake up to a cat purring on my head as I have the last three days.

Not much other news. Mostly just Minecraft. The blog is doing nicely, have a few posts up now and I think I finally sort of like the layout, even if it isn't 100% doing what I want because Wordpress. More importantly tonight I successfully ran a three hour externally accessible survival game on my phone with relatively few problems so I'm psyched about that.

Spring is taking its sweet time getting here. It snowed today. Snowed! Ugh.

I've got to start prepping the burlesque act again. I've got work to do.

Right now I've got to go to bed. I don't know why I'm still up, I've got to be in church early tomorrow since we're playing bells for Cat Toy Palm Sunday. Silly me....
anagramofbrat: (lilycat)
He's home, armed with prescription food and medicine. In for another rough night, but instead of because he's at the vets it's because he's shut into the bathroom temporarily for monitoring and he's mad cause he can't come hang out with the humans. But it's temporary at least. And him being yowly and indignant is better than him being absent.

Still contending with feeling slightly stupid about how emotional I've been about all this.


Mar. 18th, 2015 09:39 pm
anagramofbrat: (little help?)
Ain't dead, though my guts are acting up something fierce.

Work stress hoo ha ha.

Everything is melty and muddy but there's more sunshine and it's definitely improved from AAAAGH FREEZING to Eeegh, chilly. Unfortunately it is now MASSIVE CAR-DEVOURING POTHOLES season, and with all the snow we've had and the massive banks all over the place, the potholes and frost heaves are an epic level of terrible to the point where it has robbed me of my usual rabid love of driving.

I started an MCPE blog over here. Still tweaking the layout and throwing in content. Wordpress has become quite the beast in the past few years, huh? I also finally figured out how to make my game accessible from the outside world, so if anyone else plays Pocket Edition holler and I will give you the Super Secret Address. More reasons to be all CMON about the new update with mode switch - if people are gonna be running around up in my builds I need it to be Survivor mode.

Cute loving husbeast remains cute and loving and holy damn two and a half months of steady gym visits are making a difference there. He's slowly morphing into a dense wall of muscle, which I won't lie is preeeeeeeetty sexy.

In the market for a bike, for once pothole season ends. I need to get on this sexy muscle gravy train.
anagramofbrat: (green things)
This winter has got all of my sense of temperature upside-down and backwards, but I suppose if you had just been through a February where the temperatures refused to crack 20 and oftentimes hung out in the negatives, 35 degrees WOULD seem positively tropical. It's supposedly going up to 50 later today at which point I'ma probably bust out the maxi dresses. New England has officially broken me.

Alas, I'm suffering from Vague Plague as well as the usual intestinal fuckery, so I'm home sick today. Which means I'm working from home but due to a network snafu I don't have to log in for another hour. Considering my start time is 7:45, that means a luxurious morning off, made all the better because I didn't ask for it. Somehow surprise time off is the best, especially if you're still getting paid for it. But yeah, I've been achy and fatigued and just generally feeling like a sack of malaise so a day in which I can stay home and occasionally be harassed by cats'll do me some good.

What all's been up in the Life Of Andee aside from that... not too much. Slowly beating back my demons and trying to break out of this wall of anxious depression I've been stuck in with varying success. Moonbeam's latest UTI has mostly cleared although we still have to contend with him peeing in places that are Not The Litterbox. Sigh. I've been trying to work a bit on Sqwrrl here and there, and have started talking to [ profile] stormslegacy about game art and have signed up for the local game developer meetup group. Interestingly enough while poking about on Meetup I ran across the profile of an old friend I'd lost touch with ages ago. Am debating whether to re-initiate contact. It wasn't as if we'd ended on a bad note, we just kind of drifted out of touch and from what I can tell from some quick googlesnooping, he hasn't really changed all that much aside from a "yeah we knew that was gonna happen" loss of hair. Meh. We'll see.

What else... Oh, I finished this:

I started one of Simone from Shining Force but I badly miscounted in one section so I'm either gonna white out the part I fucked up or start her over, I haven't decided which. Probably start her over. All things considered I hadn't gotten that far with her.

In other news, Wee Beastie has joined the Malevolent Order of the Bespectacled, and oh my lord, I thought it was impossible for that boy to get cuter but glasses amp the factor by >9000. (So does a well placed kitty hat.)

I mean, Jesus Christ, kid, staaaaaaaahp.

Oop, just got a text from work, we're back up. Darn it, lol. Ah well. Andee out.
anagramofbrat: (ice)
February is over and I am glad. Between the weather, the fairly large depression/anxiety spike, various friends and loved ones also having worrisome life crap descend and several other things that snowballed on me February can really bite my cooter and die. I'm looking forward to a slightly better month. Hopefully anyway. We'll see. Considering Moonbeam's urinary problems have reared their ugly heads again this weekend it's not exactly off to the greatest start ever.

There has been some good stuff afoot though. After it languishing on my wish list for literally years, I finally managed to acquire a 3T NAS drive for the house and have been cheerfully backing up shit on my computer for the first time like ever. So there's a little bit more peace of mind. (The reorganizing and cleanup of my music, however, slightly slower going and more frustrating.) I also got a wireless bridge so we've finally been able to hook the blu-ray player to the network. Since the drive is also a media server, our days of running thumb drives up and down the stairs are over for watching digital files, plus we can get Netflix in HD now, so we can finally more or less retire the Wii. Seeing as we can also get things like Hulu plus through it as well and my package deal with Comcast is about to run the hell out, renegotiating our cable package is on the agenda for before April - unless they can offer me something that won't cost a C note per month, I'm kicking us back down to air channels and super fast internet, cause we barely watch the rest of the crap we do have. Stupid Comcast and their monopoly and the lack of a la carte cable channels. Boo. But all that aside, both items and the resulting improved connectivity to Things Around the house has been all kinds of awesome this week. So that's a thing.

I may be on a new project at work, which is both awesome and intimidating? That's about all I'm gonna say about it publicly though.

Been trying to keep my creative hand in, but it's been tough since I'm feeling the call of too many irons in the fire and having to choose one to focus on is its own form of stressful. And how do we deal with that? Minecraft and coloring. :P Neither (not Nether, lol) of those options feel like I'm accomplishing all that much but they are giving my head something to focus on than the utter dread soup my brain has been marinating in. I am getting to the point where I am probably going to put the Minecraft down for a while as I'm pretty burned out on it (it did pretty much take over my life for most of the past year), but if I do continue with it/pick it back up I'm going to at least do something online with the world/builds I've been working on other than post them to the /r/MCPE. Not sure what though. Heh, in retrospect maybe I should have given it up for Lent or something, lol. Not too late, really if I really wanted to do something along those lines. Or maybe just give up procrastinating/fucking about on the internet, what have you.

As for coloring I haven't done any more mandalas, though I have acquired a set of new markers (not the fancy kind I wanted, but I find I'm almost as happy for the 50 color set of crayolas I paid all of $5 for for now), a Dover geometrics coloring book, as today [ profile] extrajoker dropped by with more coloring Stuff for me - a box of nature themed mandalas and a stack of old coloring books - one D&D themed, the rest based on the movie Willow. The Willow ones I'll be saving for the next Storytime party, which was supposed to be today but I didn't have the spoons or really the cash for party prep, plus considering the weather out right now, postponing it to the end of the month was probably the best thing to do because the roads right now are a freaking slip'n'slide. Anyway, since coloring the Superb Owls went over fantastically, having pages to scan and print that are Willow themed will be awesome.

Anyway, I did start a mandala this weekend, then found myself contemplating a pad of engineering graph paper I had lying around that I had been using to sketch out Minecraft floorplans. And some part of me was all like "Color that instead." And I was all like you fucking nuts, that's like 20 squares an inch, I'll go blind. Some photoshop-assisted planning and a couple of days of coloring later, though?

Picture's kinda crap but you get the idea.

I really have to wonder if I have a calling to translate game art into other non-computer mediums. (That aren't perler beads.) I doubt I'll be making a habit of this, though - oddly enough, though it does go quite a bit faster with markers and pens (imagine that) it's been murder on the eyes and wrist in ways the beads weren't. Also 20 squares per inch is actually quite a bit smaller than 11/0 delica beads, so that's a lot of close focus and squinting. Not too surprised at the slight headache I've got going right now. But yeah, I'ma finish this one up and then unless the spirit of USELESS CRAFTING! seizes me again, I'm probably not going to make a habit of marker screenshots. Still - looks pretty cool so far and will probably be even more kickass when I get it finished. Oddly enough this is reinforcing my want for the Le Plume markers I originally wanted to get instead of these ones, because holy crap this would have been so much cleaner looking (and easier) with fine tipped pens. Buuuuuuuuuuuut whatevs. Maybe later this year.

[ profile] cell23 and I at least are doing well - he's been adorable to me this past month, which has probably done more to keep me from completely unravelling than I care to admit. We had a lovely date Friday night by checking out the new breakfast cafe in North Amherst, since on Fridays they have evening breakfast-for-dinner hours. I had an absolutely delectable French toast and some of the thinnest sliced SALTIEST ham you will ever have in your life, but dear gods it was tasty as hell, even despite the uncomfortable reminder that I had burned to roof of my mouth earlier in the day, oops, lol. But yeah, he's been an absolute rock this month and though I rail at the fact that I really need that right now, I'm at the same time utterly grateful for it as well.

But yes. Please be better, March. I'm gonna do my best to help it be so, but please, gods PLEASE be better.
anagramofbrat: (and the goddamn batman)
Its been an outwardly low activity internally ALL THE HEADNOISE sort of week and at some point i will get around to unpacking it all. I've had some deep thinky thinks about abuse and abandonment (nothing to do with FSOG, for a change), Ive done my share of sighing and shaking my head at the neverending snow (winters are why I never want to own a house unless I'm rich enough to get someone else to maintain it and that'll never happen lol) and had one terrifyingly grown-up conversation about where we might be living in another couple of years. its strange - this winter has been full of people getting fed up with the weather and heading away from Boston, meanwhile we're considering heading in like goofs. we'll see. Neither Husbeast nor I are very good at disrupting inertia.

but yeah... posts should happen and hopefully soon.


Feb. 15th, 2015 11:59 pm
anagramofbrat: (got pms?)
I didn't have much of a Valentine's Day but that's OK. Considering we had the memorial brunch for [ profile] cell23's father in the morning and then Burlesque in the evening, I wasn't expecting to really do anything this year aside from rolling my eyes at the folks that insist of complaining about the holiday's existence. Besides, Drew made me steak on Friday, which was delicious.

This has been a weekend of all over the place emo shit, but I'll just say between the depressed and cold, I spend a good portion of today doing nothing, and a fair amount of the nothing was spent in bed, with the mattress pad cranked up to high, pretty much reenacting any random strip of Robot Hugs. (Mostly this one.) Trying not to feel guilty for having wasted the day, but I think I needed to just sit and wallow for a little bit. *sigh* I think between the discovery of ex related fuckery on Friday, the sort of funeral but not exactly, burlesque drop and my impending monthly uterine tantrum today was just going to be doomed. I have tomorrow off from work, so hopefully I can make some of it up.

With the exception of Friday, I did indeed manage to get a mandala colored every day this week. It was a fun experiment but I don't think the one per day goal is sustainable. They are a lovely way to calm the brain down though, so I'm going to keep doing them, but on a less rigid schedule. I guess more of an "as needed" than a "daily."

I part with a picture of me with Hors at last night's show. Because everyone needs a fairy Dragmother this cute.

anagramofbrat: (team tatro (2015))
We've been averaging a snowstorm a week since January up here in Ye Olde Newe Aengeland*, to the point where I think all the kids in the state of Massachusetts may have had school on one Monday since the semester began. D: Boston and the surrounding areas have been getting it really bad - I think they've had maybe a collective five feet of snow in the past few weeks and things out there are a complete disaster any kind of transportation-wise. New York MTA had to lend the Boston MBTA two giant rail snowblowers for track clearing, even. (Fun Fact: those machines are honestly called Snowzillas. Seriously, google it.) This has made kid weekends super challenging, and with the current snowstorm finally petering out this morning, Tuesday finds me with a day taken off from work and the kids still here because the roads have been utter shit for the past 48 hours. Thankfully school has been cancelled for the past couple of days, so that isn't a factor, but apparently Kidzilla's class now has Snow Day homework they have to do in case of school cancellation so she's been meeting the news of yet another snow day with alarmingly grown-up groans. On one hand, yeah, there's been a bit of scrambling with the change in schedule, but on the other hand having them here a couple of extra days has on many levels been really fun.

I've decided that Wee Beastie is, in fact, a Neverland fairy. I say that mostly because I often joke that he's too small to hold more than one emotion at a time, so as a result all of his emotions are all-encompassing forces of nature. When he's happy, he's a ball of zoomy radioactive joy. When he's sad, he is inconsolable and Everything Is Terrible. When he's angry it's like a storm descends in the room, he's all violently flailing appendages and screaming. It is certainly a Thing To Behold/worry about.

After he pitched a mega fit last night about having to go to bed which ended with him punching [ profile] cell23 square in the nose (not kidding about the violent flailing), I sat with him for a little bit after his time-out to calm him down and we had a long, surprisingly interesting chat about how he experiences big overwhelming emotions. He concluded independently that angry was his biggest feeling, and when he gets angry it's "too big for me" and that's why he has trouble controlling himself. I told him the quote from Peter Pan about how fairies are too small to be more than one thing at a time, and he got this solemn little expression on his face (hilarious, btw) and was all "Yeah. That sounds correct."

He is, indeed, a funny little bug.

Anyway, we agreed that we need to work on making more space for big emotions. I've been wanting to get him involved in some kind of directed physical activity/martial art so he can vent off some of the pent up physical energy for a while but owing to budget constraints on both sides of the state and the additional difficulty of only having every other weekend to work with on ours it hasn't really been practical. Still, this morning I'm taking another stab at looking at some options for him. The local Tae Kwon Do school seems pretty promising aside from the scheduling hurdle; I may stop by later in the week to take a closer look at it and see if the every/other schedule can be worked with/around. That is if it ever stops snowing long enough for anything to dig out and reopen around here. If anything, their summer camp seems tailor made for him with a week of martial arts, playing with horses and learning to swim, so that is something to sock away money for at the very least.

In other news, along with getting bitten with what seems like every creative idea ever (and thus being paralyzed with indecision about which to work on at any given time, since the Super Bowl I've been having intense needs to Color Things. This led to a rediscovery that I absolutely adore geometric patterns and mandalas, a ridiculous number of which are available free on the internet, so as of Sunday I've decided to try to color one per day, be it with actual markers/pencils/crayons or digitally. I've only done two so far and I'm not sure how the one-per-day bit is going to work out long term as I tend to gravitate towards the ones with intensely complex patterns, but I do indeed find the process very brain-unclenching.

Well, we'll see. I do need some sort of anxiety reduction type thing to do on the regular for a while, but previous attempts at meditation have already shown that I suck at it - in fact sitting still with nothing tangible to focus on tends to make my anxiety worse. (This is why I tend to not work well without music or some kind of background noise - silence freaks me the fuck out.) This is also sort of why I miss having a commute - driving tends to calm my brain down right quick as well. Maybe when the roads clear, considering the free fall gas prices have been in for the past little bit I'll do more of that too.

* I made that spelling up. don't have a historical accuracy cow at me please.
anagramofbrat: (ding dong)
The kids are over this weekend and this is how Kidzilla has taken to opening up non-conversations with me. It's adorable. It's basically "I wanna hang out and talk with you because yay but I have absolutely nothing to say." Bless that girl.

I've gotten a bit more reflective on the passage of time this weekend... I think it started last week at the Owl when I was holding [ profile] stormslegacy and [ profile] coureton's baby and he was grabbing strands of yarn in his chubby widdle fists and either pulling or stuffing it in his mouth cause teething is no joke. (An aside, wtf he's three months old and like... six months ahead in development, yikes.) I've been having a lot of flashbacks to when small blonde was even smaller and pretty much would interact with me and my hair the same way. And now she's bearing down on 11. Both kids are just interesting little people now, every so often I'll just pause and go wow. I get to watch these kids grow up. I get to help these kids grow up. That's an awesome thing. And not just because I have a bazillion and three embarrassing stories that I'm collecting for when Wee Beastie brings home a romantic interest. ;) It's just moments like this morning as I'm typing this and overhearing them in the other room huddled around an ipad singing along to Weird Al's "Word Crimes". (We'll overlook that it's probably the 347th time I've heard that song this weekend.)

In other news, I have several creative projects trying to get my attention. Since I can't pick one I've been defaulting to Minecraft. I'm in the middle of two major builds (finishing off the castle and one inspired by Chand Baori) and I always swear that when I finish whatever I'm on I'm gonna put Minecraft down for a bit but lol no. But I do need to work on a few other things for a change.

J and I have been emailing again. This is both a good and a bad thing. Of course I'm expecting him to have an attack of the feels, freak out and disengage at any moment so I'm trying to treat it as an ephemeral treat, like getting the occasional NY street hot dog. The upside of that is we were talking about an old project we had partially been working on together years ago and that I'd started developing again on my own by myself. Yet another creative iron in the fire.

It just keeps snowing out here in the Northeast. It's apparently Boston's turn for an ass-reaming by Old Man Winter and while we're not getting spanked nearly as bad out on our end of MA, we've still been getting quite a bit and there's more on the way. I swear if it keeps up like this I'ma go out into the driveway in a blue dress and get my Idina Menzel on.

Valentine's Day Approacheth. I have... feels about that. I have a weird kind of holiday burnout right now - I'm not sick of holidays because I fucking love them, but what I am sick of is holiday backlash. I feel like this year I've really let the varying cries of Fuck Christmas! Fuck Super Bowl, and Fuck Valentine's Day! get to me. There are very valid complaints and deconstructions to be had about any/all of them, don't get me wrong, but most of the vitriol isn't coming from a place of honest critique, but rather 5th dentisting for the sake of 5th dentisting. Anyway, considering I have the annoying personality quirk where one criticism of something I enjoy "ruins it forever"* for me getting through this winter has been somewhat more of a challenge than usual. Strongly considering just quitting facebook between Thanksgiving and Presidents Day next year so I don't have to deal with it next year.

Hilariously, I don't have anything even remotely planned for Valentine's day itself. On the date itself Drew and I are going up to Athol for a memorial gathering for his Dad, and then I have to work Burlesque, and then depending on what my wallet looks like next week the day after we're going to drive out to the Flea. Maybe. I still haven't properly decided on that. I might drive down to see htl_1126 instead, lol. Most of the leadup to it is mocking the shit out of the massive FSOG marketing because eek.

Well. That's all the news for now.
anagramofbrat: (TV)
So I said I was gonna do season overviews instead of individual episode reviews. I wrapped up season I last night.

cut for the doncurrs )


Feb. 3rd, 2015 06:45 pm
anagramofbrat: (yarr!)
I threw a Superb Owl party on Sunday and it was awesome. I had a packed house (seriously, there were like 25 people in my house eep) the game was good, there was sooooo much food and all of it was great, and it was just... yeah. It was just a damn good party, and I feel damned accomplished that everyone had such a good time. Of course all of yesterday and a bit of today I've had party drop, which has only partially been fixed by eagerly planning the next one (Storytime II!) or at least just setting the date for it.

Noodling around before the party I found a terrifying clip art drawing of a seriously jacked to the point of severe disproportion football player with an owl head and had people color it during the party. We chose a winner to give a copy of A Gronking to Remember* to at the end of the party, but they were all pretty great/hilarious:

seriously terrifying owls ahoy )

Not too much else going on, really. We got a foot of snow dumped on us over the course of yesterday, so everything in the region shut down and I got to stay home and work. It amuses me to no end to work from home dressed in a Totoro kigurumi, let me tell you. I am clearly casting about for some kind of creative project as lately I've been drawing up schematics for handmade notebooks, being pestered by characters from a long shelved webcomic idea, being pestered by other characters in several stories relegated to other corners of my brain, thinking rather wistfully about the furniture building plan I was working on this time last year, drooling over 3D printers and their doll stuff/craft accessory potential, and feeling reasonably guilty for not working on Sqwrrl or beadwork or something. I am still minecrafting but I'm in the middle of two large builds right now and I've hit the wall on both of them. Argh. So really I just need to pick a direction and focus on it, but I don't know which direction to pick. Its all very frustrating.

On top of that I'm in jangly headspace. Not sad, just... unsettled, I guess. I'm thinking the creative idea geyser is me trying to unconsciously cope with that. I'm not super worried about it, it will settle out, I will work on things, and all will be well. Some variant of this happens every winter. Maybe it's just cabin fever.

Next weekend we have the kids and then the weekend after that is Burlesque on Valentine's Day. I keep fucking up and thinking it's this weekend but it's not, it's actually the latest in the month it ever is, seeing as it's always the second saturday of the month and this month started on a Sunday (meaning there will be a Friday the 13 this month and next.) I was toying a bit with attending FFF the day after. I haven't been since that fateful trip six years ago and even though I'm a little wibbly about running into a certain blue fox there, I do actually want to see [ profile] 11th_letter, so that's a thing. But really I just want to go and shop and drool over expensive toys and corsets I can't afford and soak up kinky atmosphere because I miss it. (Also hanging in legit kinky space that weekend seems like an appropriate protest against the scads of FSoG fans on parade this weekend. Ugh!) I don't know. We'll see if I make it down. If not... there's always the summer Flea as well. Not the end of the world.

In media consumption news I apparently need to catch up on Sleepy Hollow; I haven't seen it since the winter premiere and it's apparently finally returning to form. I've been really bad about TV watching lately - I still have the latter half of Galavant to get around to, I haven't arsed myself to check out the last season of Parks and Recreation yet, I completely forgot about Archer which is six episodes in already, I've still got half of last season of Lost Girl to watch, let alone any of the current one, and fuck picking up anything new at this point - I'd been meaning to check out Empire, Black Sails, and Marco Polo, among other things. About the only thing airing right now that I am managing to keep up with is Agent Carter, and I think that's just because the husbeast and I watch it together. (I am utterly in love with it BTW. Human Jarvis may be my new surprise favorite character in the MCU. And a love of Peggy just goes without saying.) What I have been watching, much to my own surprise, is Star Trek: Deep Space 9. I started it because I've been playing [ profile] verbena76's Trek game set roughly around the same time and since my general handle on the pre-reboot Trek universe is rather deficient,** I started watching it for "research." I was familiar with the characters from sitting through a few binge-watch sessions with J back in the day, but that was only a few eps here or there. I'm about to finish up season 1 and even though it hasn't quite grown the beard yet and they're still essentially throwing things at the wall to see what sticks, I'm enjoying it so far. I've been assured that it gets amazingly good in later seasons, so I'm looking forward to that. I don't think I have the patience to do an episode by episode recap, but I might do entries offering my thoughts on overall seasons as I finish them.

* I shit you not this is an actual thing. Is this a sign of the apocalypse?

** I was more of a Star Wars/Babylon 5 girl growing up.
anagramofbrat: (ice)
So this is currently a thing:

projected snowfall was somewhere between 18-30 inches depending on which weather outlet you subscribed to, but we are still under a foot this morning. (The east side of the state, however, is getting spanked like a ginger stepchild.) Seeing as one of the perks of apartment living is blissful freedom from shoveling/plowing, I am free to be enjoy this. See also statewide travel bans and completely shut down public transport ensuring that I stay home. I still have to work, but I am doing it dressed in a Totoro kigger. Because I can and it's warm. :)

In other momentous news, this morning wass my last prednisone dose! A good thing too - I had my physical yesterday and discovered that there were 22lbs worth of Skippy and chex mix I packed on in the past seven weeks. (Cause it's powerful, yeah! PEANUT BUTTER!!) On one hand, yikes. On the other hand, aside from the annoyance of my brand new winter corduroy's now being tight (sigh) I don't exactly mind? For one thing, my face looks... normal for the first time in a long while. I've long been unhappy with the shape of my face in the wake of being skinnier. It's closer to the shape of my residual self-image now. And I am not going to argue being able to fill my bras again. I missed my boobs. So... mixed feelings regarding this.

Anyway, aside from broken gut and being a bit rounder than I was, I'm in pretty decent shape. Game plan right now is starting Humira again in a couple of months, and figuring out what parts of my diet I can tweak to keep the inflammation to a minimum and try to rein in the extreme munchies I've been having, because while I'm more or less okay with the uptick in poundage, I don't want to pack on any more. I've also decided that once the weather thaws out some I'm going to buy a new bike and start doing that again, since I miss it. (See also not being bound to the horrid bus schedule during the summer, lol.) I am overdue for eye and ladybits appointments and I really really need to actually take advantage of my dental coverage despite my phobias and find a damn dentist this year, but so far so good. Yay?

Anyways, back to work.


anagramofbrat: (Default)

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