anagramofbrat (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
anagramofbrat) wrote2009-11-16 02:28 pm
anagramofbrat) wrote2009-11-16 02:28 pm
Entry tags:
This again
The rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying anything random, like your favorite lyric to your current favorite song. Or your favorite kind of sandwich. Something random. Whatever you like.
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.
3. You update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.
1) What has been the best life decision you have made thus far? (and why?)
Believe it or not, for all the associated angst, complaining and expense, moving back to New York for the summer this year. I was able to get my head more or less straight, heal and recover from various and sundry things, realize that no, I really do belong in MA (at least for now), and most importantly reconnect with my family and finally learn to relate to all of them as (more of) a grown-up than as "the baby".
2) What was the transformative book, movie, TV show, comic, etc. that made you love SF and/or Fantasy?
Madeleine L'Engle's A Wrinkle In Time. Someone gave it to me to read when I was nine or ten. I remember starting it twice and it not holding my attention (I stopped both times before getting to the third chapter) and then one day pushing through the bit I found boring and thinking HOLY CRAP THIS SHIT IS AWESOME. That and I clearly remember being indoctrinated into the Cult of Star Wars at a really early age so between the two my geekhood was pretty much guaranteed.
3) What major life goal would you like to achieve by the time you are 40?
Be nice to be completely out of my current debt, both official and personal. Or published. And I'd kinda like a little house somewhere someday.
5) You have been interested in NaNoWriMo for the past couple of years. Do you work on the same novel, or do you start a new one each time?
I start a new one each time, and lose total interest by the end of the first week and start poking at old projects/characters/snippets of things instead, lol. One of these days I'll finish one of the six things I've slowly nibbled at over the past five years, but I think after trying this and failing fantastically three times, NaNo isn't the way to do it.
4) Ok, you've been in a few rodeos, so what's your take on polyamory as a personal decision (not a general philosophy), now?
Yippee-ai-oh-kai-yay, motherfucker. (sorry, rodeos... lol.) Seriously, interesting that you ask... and I felt my answer warranted making this the last question answered.
One of the things I realized thinking further on the subject was that I always was poly in some fashion. I kinda forgot this in recent years, but I was madly in love with and kind-of? dating two people in high school and saw nothing at all wrong with this. I shifted to monogamy in college because... I guess I craved some semblance of normalcy and being with one person and still holding a torch for another one (which I was) was Very Clearly Not Normal, which was more than I could deal with on top of being openly queer and school kicking my ass at the time. Ironically enough, it also made Carole all kinds of uncomfortable then as well which was all the more reason to squash it down.
But you asked about now. Am I still poly? Yeah. There ain't enough love in the world as it is, and closing myself or my partner(s) off to any form of it still seems wrong/selfish to me. What's changed/learned from previous experiences would be true in any relationship model, which is to identify my own needs/boundaries and have them respected/met, and if they aren't, fucking SAY SOMETHING. I still think I'm incredibly bad at this (leftover martyr complexes, wanting to make people happy, blah blah blah), but I do know that every single stupid thing I did/do relationship-wise stems from having a boundary violated or having a need go unmet and me letting it go/disregarding it instead of enforcing or at least addressing it. And one of my non-negotiable needs is to have a primary relationship of some kind - someone to come home to that also comes home to me, if that makes sense. It's... really nice to have that again. And it's also nice to be able to flirt/explore relationships outside without causing maelstroms of angst back "home."
1. Leave me a comment saying anything random, like your favorite lyric to your current favorite song. Or your favorite kind of sandwich. Something random. Whatever you like.
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.
3. You update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.
1) What has been the best life decision you have made thus far? (and why?)
Believe it or not, for all the associated angst, complaining and expense, moving back to New York for the summer this year. I was able to get my head more or less straight, heal and recover from various and sundry things, realize that no, I really do belong in MA (at least for now), and most importantly reconnect with my family and finally learn to relate to all of them as (more of) a grown-up than as "the baby".
2) What was the transformative book, movie, TV show, comic, etc. that made you love SF and/or Fantasy?
Madeleine L'Engle's A Wrinkle In Time. Someone gave it to me to read when I was nine or ten. I remember starting it twice and it not holding my attention (I stopped both times before getting to the third chapter) and then one day pushing through the bit I found boring and thinking HOLY CRAP THIS SHIT IS AWESOME. That and I clearly remember being indoctrinated into the Cult of Star Wars at a really early age so between the two my geekhood was pretty much guaranteed.
3) What major life goal would you like to achieve by the time you are 40?
Be nice to be completely out of my current debt, both official and personal. Or published. And I'd kinda like a little house somewhere someday.
5) You have been interested in NaNoWriMo for the past couple of years. Do you work on the same novel, or do you start a new one each time?
I start a new one each time, and lose total interest by the end of the first week and start poking at old projects/characters/snippets of things instead, lol. One of these days I'll finish one of the six things I've slowly nibbled at over the past five years, but I think after trying this and failing fantastically three times, NaNo isn't the way to do it.
4) Ok, you've been in a few rodeos, so what's your take on polyamory as a personal decision (not a general philosophy), now?
Yippee-ai-oh-kai-yay, motherfucker. (sorry, rodeos... lol.) Seriously, interesting that you ask... and I felt my answer warranted making this the last question answered.
One of the things I realized thinking further on the subject was that I always was poly in some fashion. I kinda forgot this in recent years, but I was madly in love with and kind-of? dating two people in high school and saw nothing at all wrong with this. I shifted to monogamy in college because... I guess I craved some semblance of normalcy and being with one person and still holding a torch for another one (which I was) was Very Clearly Not Normal, which was more than I could deal with on top of being openly queer and school kicking my ass at the time. Ironically enough, it also made Carole all kinds of uncomfortable then as well which was all the more reason to squash it down.
But you asked about now. Am I still poly? Yeah. There ain't enough love in the world as it is, and closing myself or my partner(s) off to any form of it still seems wrong/selfish to me. What's changed/learned from previous experiences would be true in any relationship model, which is to identify my own needs/boundaries and have them respected/met, and if they aren't, fucking SAY SOMETHING. I still think I'm incredibly bad at this (leftover martyr complexes, wanting to make people happy, blah blah blah), but I do know that every single stupid thing I did/do relationship-wise stems from having a boundary violated or having a need go unmet and me letting it go/disregarding it instead of enforcing or at least addressing it. And one of my non-negotiable needs is to have a primary relationship of some kind - someone to come home to that also comes home to me, if that makes sense. It's... really nice to have that again. And it's also nice to be able to flirt/explore relationships outside without causing maelstroms of angst back "home."