Surprise!

[anagramofbrat]

So I'm laying here in the process of waking up, which occasionally involves a hand wandering beneath my pj bottoms to scratch bits that don't see sunshine much, if you catch my drift. (yeah yeah shut up you do it too. :P)

...pro-tip: it is never advisable to have a hand moving beneath fabric for any reason if there is a cat in the house. Even if you're damn sure it's in another bit of the house entirely, this does not mean it will not pop forth from a transdimensional portal in order to hunt the unseen creature tunneling beneath said fabric.

Pro-tip2: having ten or so pounds of muscle, fuzz, and claws unexpectedly land on your crotch with enough force to create craters in less resilient materials is not a fun sensation. Especially not when your last thought before this happened was something along the lines of "man I really need to get up and pee." Ow.

I will have to post yesterday's adventure in the city with Tash&Winnie soon as it was a journey with noting, but it will have to wait for when I can type it on a real keyboard. I'll leave it as we walked so damn much and my calves feel quite a but like someone repeatedly hit me with a bat until the muscle beneath turned to jello and pain. Driving home tonight after the ballet is not going to be fun.

Comments

[queencallipygos.livejournal.com]

I had a male roommate some years ago, and an apartment which got very warm. My roommate slept nude, and would sometimes leave his bedroom door open a crack.

One morning, I was up and getting ready for the day and suddenly I heard a shriek from my roommate's room. I came running out of the bathroom, in time to see my cat come running out of my roommate's room. "Dude, you okay?" I called in.

".....Yes......"

"What happened?" I asked, poking my head in (it was a loft bed in his orom, so I wasn't going to see anything "scandalous").

He was sitting up in his bed, his hands thrust protectively down over his crotch. All he said was, "....Zach found a toy this morning."

[emilytheslayer.livejournal.com]

I was hanging out at a friend's place in college. Friend had just gotten two new cats, one of which was a very energetic kitten named Joey. Two other guys were also over, and one of them tended to wear soft pj pants pretty much all the time (oh, college). Dude was sitting on the couch, and the kitten tried to get in his lap. Dude discouraged this, because he knew if he let the kitten stay, eventually he would be startled, and the claws would come out as the kitten pushed off his lap. Joey left the lap, and ended up on the floor, looking up at the guy. At some point, the cat just leaped up and bit the guy on the tip of the junk.

I tell this story, and every time the first question people ask is "was his junk OUT?! WHY?!" No. It was not out, it was definitely inside his pants, and I don't think it was, you know, moving or anything, I think the kitten just saw the movement of the fabric when the guy shifted his leg a little, and went for that.

[harinezumi.livejournal.com]

One of the many reasons I don't open my bedroom doors until after I've put on my jeans.

[sixswordsamurai.livejournal.com]

Further proof that cats are made of evil.

[masteradept.livejournal.com]

You will be punished when The Kitteh Masters resume control of this world.

[sixswordsamurai.livejournal.com]

the Dog warriors stand ready to repel the invasion.

[masteradept.livejournal.com]

You mean the Other Masters...you think you know.

[twirlgrrl.livejournal.com]

LOL!!

Once our cat woke my ex-boyfriend up from a dead sleep by licking the head of his cock with his little sandpaper tongue.

[queenlyzard.livejournal.com]

*dies laughing*

[queenlyzard.livejournal.com]

ah yes, the joy of cat-landings. We had a cat who loved to watch the birds wake up at dawn from the window above my bed... and who would, then, blithely jump down from said window and land right on my stomach. Helluva way to wake up.