Life and Whitney

[anagramofbrat]

The weathermen have said to expect 1-4 inches of snow for the last three days. Other than a sprinkle that was gone by 10am? no snow. Temperatures dropped and errthang, but nothing fell from the sky. At least it sorta feels like winter out there - other than the freak snowstorm around Halloween we haven't really had any winter weather of note this year.... which of course means we're going to get five feet around beginning to mid-April. I'd not be surprised if we got snowed into PAX.

Anyway. So life, not much really to report at the moment. I've been fighting off a chest cold for a little over a week; today I'm ready to declare the battle lost. Mostly because I can; I'm done with today's bell performance (which went much better than previous ones) and I've got nothing planned for the rest of the day. I did want to get productive things done with the time, but considering how I feel right now, I'm declaring fuck it and reserve the right to hide in my nice warm bed with library books and the iPad relentlessly consuming media and occasionally whining pathetically at cell23 to get me things so I don't have to move. Considering what the last couple of days have been like with regard to social, family and wedding stuff commitments, I'm not too surprised my body is all "No, seriously, bitch, lay down and rest a spell."

Course, I can't complain, other than being punctuated by coughing the past couple days had their really good moments. Friday I spent running around doing wedding shit (more about that in a separate entry because there is a LOT of blathering to be done about that) and yesterday I spent first up in Athol at cell23's uncle's birthday brunch, and then later we went to Moti's for dinner and all I can say is oooooooh, Persian lamb stew nom nom. After that there was the Bon Appetit Burlesque's Love/Hate Show and, well, boobies. Also there is something incredibly happy about ending your day by being sassed (and then hugged) by an adorable drag queen in a wedding dress. I seriously have more than a little bit of a crush on Hors D'Oeuvres, I'm not even going to lie.

It was during the second half of the show that I (and indeed, everyone else in the audience) heard about Whitney Houston. Hors announced it between acts, and I remember almost the entire room went "WHAT???!" and she was all "I'M NOT KIDDING, GOOGLE THAT SHIT AFTER THE SHOW, NOW TAKE FIVE SECONDS OF SILENCE FOR HER OR I WILL BEAT YOU." (She was holding a riding crop at the time so this was an viable threat.) Surreal, and yet considering Ms. Houston was very much the diva during her Bodyguard era, it seemed kind of appropriate to have her death announced and then her legacy saluted by a drag queen.

Silliness aside, though, this is one of those celebrity deaths kind of punching me in the gut. I pretty much first gained actual sentience in what I both affectionately and derisively call The Black 80s (which, TBH lasted until about 1994) and a lot of what I heard in my immediate environment both on the radio and through the various musical tastes of my sisters still have their hooks in my psyche. If you put on any of Whitney's first three albums on, I probably could still sing along to them word for word, though honestly her voice was such that you felt foolish and ashamed just even trying with any of her ballads and you didn't really want to cover her up with your own awful in comparison vocals. Songs like "Greatest Love of All," "One Moment In Time," and yes, even "I Will Always Love You," you just shut up and listened because she HAD those. The dancey stuff was okay, those just felt like singing with your older sister in the car on a Friday night, because she was able to convey this fun bubbly joy with her voice in those and you didn't feel bad for singing along with her, nor could you help it. "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" is probably one of the most INFECTIOUS pop songs I've ever heard. I still turn it up and sing along when I hear it.

Sure, I snarked along with everyone else about her issues, her marriage, her reality show, maybe quoted "Crack is Wack" a few times. I never said I was a nice person, y'all. In the wake of her death, however, and looking at (and admittedly cracking a smile over) some of the Internet's gleeful too-soon jokes at her expense, I've been examining why parts of me do find that funny even as I join the rest of the music world in mourning her. I guess part of it is that unreasonable anger that crops up when someone you admire, like and/or respect, no matter how begrudgingly, disappoints you somehow, and Whitney did disappoint many as the more unsavory bits of her life hit and were gleefully picked over by the press. I don't know how many times I've heard people say something to the effect of how sad it was that she squandered her talent/early promise. The part of me that isn't entirely immune to the suffering of another human being however does make me step back and question what right we have in passing judgement on her. This woman broke barriers and records in her career and accomplished so fucking much so young, which people forget. Whitney at her career peak was several years younger than I am now, and that was after pretty much being on a runaway success train that took off when she was SIXTEEN. That's... shit. I can barely keep a handle on my normal boring life, y'all. Hers? Shit. Money success, fame, glamour, sure, but think of the flip side of all that, and also toss in the fact that the woman was trailblazing at the same time, considering her charts and sales successes were unmatched at the time (some of them still) by any person of color or any woman. Think about the kind of pressure under which that would put a person, and then think about the fact that you are EXPECTED to maintain that grueling pace of runaway success for the rest of your career, if not your life. Really think about that. Now try to make a "crack is wack" joke without feeling like a tool.

Okay, I know some of you'll still do it. But you're okay with being assholes so you don't count.

Anyway. About that lying down, resting a spell and feeling miserable... Waiting to Exhale has been on my Netflix queue forever, maybe today's a good day to actually watch it.