"Undisclosed Desires"

I know you suffered but I don't want you to hide
It's cold and loveless I won't let you be denied

Soothe me - I'll make you feel pure
Trust me - you can be sure

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

You take your lovers that you're wicked and divine
You may be a sinner but your innocence is mine

Please me - show me how it's done
Tease me - you are the one

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

Please me - show me how it's done
Trust me - you are the one

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

-- Muse, clearly channeling Depeche Mode more than a little

"Undisclosed Desires"

I know you suffered but I don't want you to hide
It's cold and loveless I won't let you be denied

Soothe me - I'll make you feel pure
Trust me - you can be sure

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

You take your lovers that you're wicked and divine
You may be a sinner but your innocence is mine

Please me - show me how it's done
Tease me - you are the one

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

Please me - show me how it's done
Trust me - you are the one

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

-- Muse, clearly channeling Depeche Mode more than a little

Day three

Haven't had coffee since Saturday night.

I was actually dead tired enough to crash by 11:30 last night. Like exhausted, cold, twitchy, out of spoons tired. And while I woke up and got my ass to work on time today, I am a total zombie. No headache though, so I suppose that's something. But yeah, the temptation to go across the street to Dunks is FIERCE today.

Going to combat my cravings with water, tea and cocoa and then hopefully my brain will have gotten it together to get something productive done.

Explain to me why I thought this was a good idea again.

Day three

Haven't had coffee since Saturday night.

I was actually dead tired enough to crash by 11:30 last night. Like exhausted, cold, twitchy, out of spoons tired. And while I woke up and got my ass to work on time today, I am a total zombie. No headache though, so I suppose that's something. But yeah, the temptation to go across the street to Dunks is FIERCE today.

Going to combat my cravings with water, tea and cocoa and then hopefully my brain will have gotten it together to get something productive done.

Explain to me why I thought this was a good idea again.

OMGOMGOMGOMGYAY

Okay... this just made my day.

OMGOMGOMGOMGYAY

Okay... this just made my day.

børk børk børk!

I am currently making butt-tons of candied sweet potatoes for Thursday.

I am also amusing the hell out of my roommate by singing and muttering to myself in Swedish Chef-speak.

I should do this every time I cook.

børk børk børk!

I am currently making butt-tons of candied sweet potatoes for Thursday.

I am also amusing the hell out of my roommate by singing and muttering to myself in Swedish Chef-speak.

I should do this every time I cook.

Bitter/sweet

POTATOES, as Eduardo from fosters home would say. They are done and delicious. They need maybe another half hour of cooking I think before serving, but they are quite yummy as they are now, a fact confirmed by aersi.

The pre-trip funk is settling in. Granted I was in all kinds of fucked up headspace since about 4pm, but pre-trip funk on top of that? not helping.

I am reminded tonight of a True Story from the Andee files. A long long time ago, in a galaxy far away (aka freshman year), around this time of year I went home to visit, and for one reason or another, this particular trip home included a trip back to UNIS to see some friends who handn't yet graduated and check in with old teachers. An exchange with my old English teacher (Mr. Banton) whom I loved to absolute death, was particularly memorable.

Mr. Banton, I might say I loved because he was Mr. No Bullshit. He would tell it like it was and expected no bullshit from you in return. And he was funny. It was kinda like having an older, more jaded, more crazy about poetry Denis Leary as your English teacher, right down to the chain smoking. Anyway as I was sitting in his office explaining why I wasn't taking the English program at Smith... and I happened to say something about how weird it felt being weird being back there that day.

Without missing a beat, Mr. Banton replies, "Well, of course it does. You don't belong here anymore."

I won't lie, that offhand observation hit like a machete between the ribs, and is one of the reasons I didn't set foot back on UNIS campus until reunion. It was true, and I saw the sense in it, but whoo, ouch. But that was Mr. Banton for ya, he was the sort that thought a few whacks with the clue by four would toughen you up or at least be good instruction in dodging. But yeah... I'm reminded of that exchange today, realizing anew that I napalm some bridges not out of spite, but to cut myself off from a way back.... cause I don't belong on the other side anymore. And besides, life is for moving forward, not sliding back. So move forward I will continue to do.


Ugh... I don't want to leave tomorrow. Also this'll be my first big trip with Hanzo-san flying solo.... and I gotta say, I'm rather gonna miss my usual co-pilot. Ah well... a playlist with lots of Muse, Gaga and E6 oughta partially fix that.

Peace out and Happy Thankgiving, y'all. Catch ya on the flip.

Bitter/sweet

POTATOES, as Eduardo from fosters home would say. They are done and delicious. They need maybe another half hour of cooking I think before serving, but they are quite yummy as they are now, a fact confirmed by aersi.

The pre-trip funk is settling in. Granted I was in all kinds of fucked up headspace since about 4pm, but pre-trip funk on top of that? not helping.

I am reminded tonight of a True Story from the Andee files. A long long time ago, in a galaxy far away (aka freshman year), around this time of year I went home to visit, and for one reason or another, this particular trip home included a trip back to UNIS to see some friends who handn't yet graduated and check in with old teachers. An exchange with my old English teacher (Mr. Banton) whom I loved to absolute death, was particularly memorable.

Mr. Banton, I might say I loved because he was Mr. No Bullshit. He would tell it like it was and expected no bullshit from you in return. And he was funny. It was kinda like having an older, more jaded, more crazy about poetry Denis Leary as your English teacher, right down to the chain smoking. Anyway as I was sitting in his office explaining why I wasn't taking the English program at Smith... and I happened to say something about how weird it felt being weird being back there that day.

Without missing a beat, Mr. Banton replies, "Well, of course it does. You don't belong here anymore."

I won't lie, that offhand observation hit like a machete between the ribs, and is one of the reasons I didn't set foot back on UNIS campus until reunion. It was true, and I saw the sense in it, but whoo, ouch. But that was Mr. Banton for ya, he was the sort that thought a few whacks with the clue by four would toughen you up or at least be good instruction in dodging. But yeah... I'm reminded of that exchange today, realizing anew that I napalm some bridges not out of spite, but to cut myself off from a way back.... cause I don't belong on the other side anymore. And besides, life is for moving forward, not sliding back. So move forward I will continue to do.


Ugh... I don't want to leave tomorrow. Also this'll be my first big trip with Hanzo-san flying solo.... and I gotta say, I'm rather gonna miss my usual co-pilot. Ah well... a playlist with lots of Muse, Gaga and E6 oughta partially fix that.

Peace out and Happy Thankgiving, y'all. Catch ya on the flip.