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Apr. 18th, 2013 10:25 pmThe week progresses as it does. We've hit that delicious point of spring where it's still cold enough at night to warrant all of the blankets but gets warm enough during the day to get away with light clothing, there's a warmth to the air that was not previously present, all the plants have buds full of potential, the robins are back and the daffodils are out, and best of all the poison tree sex and bugs have not quite yet manifested themselves in force. The first two weeks of Spring are the only bits of it I actually enjoy; next month the misery begins.
Yesterday and today were marked by my ventures out of my house. Yesterday I got called by the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
grinninfoole and we ended up having a nice dinner and talk at the ABC. This evening cell23 and I took the kiddos (who are still out West) to see oneforellis's work in the GCC student art show. Both turned out to be good times in unexpected ways - the first because after my long ass Wednesdays all I ever really want to do is fall down and go boom but this time I instead was all, no, I should be social and it turned out to be a good move. The second time was just a good bonus evening with the kids, and I enjoyed touring the show with Kidzilla and having conversations about art and ways to think about it, but also about unrelated grown-up stuff. It struck me that it might possibly have been the first person-to-person conversation I've had with her. It's funny, I've experienced that transition with almost all of my younger relatives where you find yourself stepping out of directly relating to them as $childobject and start interacting with them as themselves, if that makes any sense. To put it a different way, I guess it's that moment where you switch from thinking "She's going to be an interesting person" to "She is an interesting person." Anyway, it was a neat realization and an interesting conversation to have. We'll just ignore the wee bit of me that's frantically pointing out that not so long ago she was a wee toddley thing with wispy white-blonde fuzz instead of proper hair and giant blue eyes that even at that age didn't miss much.
I don't know if it's PMS, the fact that I've been forgetting my meds in the morning a lot this week, the undercurrent of stress in The Life right now, the fact that I will be 35 in six months (whaaaaaaat?) or what the hell is up, but the brain weasels have been unusually active and aggressive lately. I'm sure that a lot of it is the uptick in me being all stuck up in my head for hours on end every day, which is... usually not good for me, but at least forces me to deal with things I'd otherwise avoid. There are corridors in my head I haven't visited in years due to Reasons that I've wandered around in lately, and while most of what I'm finding are cobwebs and dreck, there have been small treasures along the way. Mostly it just been confronting various aspects of myself that are... not broken exactly? but are in no way functioning at optimum capacity for whatever reason. Much to my dismay, "whatever reason" usually amounts to some variant of self-sabotage, often unconscious but... just as often, deliberate. I've got to work on fixing that.
*sigh* I'd crab more stuff, but I have loads of laundry to get through before I sleep. Can't wait for next week and starting my later schedule - have a feeling that the half hour shift down will make things better.
Yesterday and today were marked by my ventures out of my house. Yesterday I got called by the
grinninfoole and we ended up having a nice dinner and talk at the ABC. This evening cell23 and I took the kiddos (who are still out West) to see oneforellis's work in the GCC student art show. Both turned out to be good times in unexpected ways - the first because after my long ass Wednesdays all I ever really want to do is fall down and go boom but this time I instead was all, no, I should be social and it turned out to be a good move. The second time was just a good bonus evening with the kids, and I enjoyed touring the show with Kidzilla and having conversations about art and ways to think about it, but also about unrelated grown-up stuff. It struck me that it might possibly have been the first person-to-person conversation I've had with her. It's funny, I've experienced that transition with almost all of my younger relatives where you find yourself stepping out of directly relating to them as $childobject and start interacting with them as themselves, if that makes any sense. To put it a different way, I guess it's that moment where you switch from thinking "She's going to be an interesting person" to "She is an interesting person." Anyway, it was a neat realization and an interesting conversation to have. We'll just ignore the wee bit of me that's frantically pointing out that not so long ago she was a wee toddley thing with wispy white-blonde fuzz instead of proper hair and giant blue eyes that even at that age didn't miss much. I don't know if it's PMS, the fact that I've been forgetting my meds in the morning a lot this week, the undercurrent of stress in The Life right now, the fact that I will be 35 in six months (whaaaaaaat?) or what the hell is up, but the brain weasels have been unusually active and aggressive lately. I'm sure that a lot of it is the uptick in me being all stuck up in my head for hours on end every day, which is... usually not good for me, but at least forces me to deal with things I'd otherwise avoid. There are corridors in my head I haven't visited in years due to Reasons that I've wandered around in lately, and while most of what I'm finding are cobwebs and dreck, there have been small treasures along the way. Mostly it just been confronting various aspects of myself that are... not broken exactly? but are in no way functioning at optimum capacity for whatever reason. Much to my dismay, "whatever reason" usually amounts to some variant of self-sabotage, often unconscious but... just as often, deliberate. I've got to work on fixing that.
*sigh* I'd crab more stuff, but I have loads of laundry to get through before I sleep. Can't wait for next week and starting my later schedule - have a feeling that the half hour shift down will make things better.
