6:15 Express to Living Room

[anagramofbrat]

Scene: A dimly lit bedroom, very early in the morning. GOOSE and MANBEAST are mostly asleep, periodically rousing to snooze various alarms.

Enter CAT, galloping as fast as her four legs will carry her little butt. CAT careens around the room, across the bed, pauses, then exits.


MANBEAST: Rrrrrrmmmcat.

GOOSE: [unintelligible imprecation]


Offstage: the sound of more warp-speed galloping up and down the stairs can be heard.

Re-enter CAT. This time on taking her circuit around the room she misjudges and slams bodily into the baseboard heater before exiting again, only slightly slower.


MANBEAST: Did she just... run into the heater?

GOOSE: [unsurprised] Yup.

Comments

[emilytheslayer.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that sounds about right. :)

[htl-1126.livejournal.com]

lmfao our kitty smashed herself into the desk side when she was playing peek a boo out of the upstairs railing and misjudged where she moved to and the opening. ngl, I laughed for 10 minutes straight.

[queencallipygos.livejournal.com]

This reminds me of a similar conversation, from my own past.

SCENE: the apartment I lived in the summer of 1992. It is a one-bedroom, with a sleeping loft over the kitchen; this loft has been divided in half to create a second sleeping-loft area. There is a big living room with high ceilings. Finally, one of the walls of the bedroom does not go all the way up to the ceiling.

The two sleeping lofts are occupied by me and Julie, one of the other two occupants of the apartment. I am in the innermost sleeping loft; Julie the outer. The ladder to get off the loft is in Julie's half. It is early one Saturday morning; the third roommate is off at her boyfriend's, and Julie and I are attempting to sleep in.

Our two cats are chasing each other, though -- from the living room, up the ladder to Julie's loft, through the crawl space into my loft, then out along the half-wall dividing the hallway and bedroom, with much scrabbling and scratching as they try to gain a purchase on the space; then a pause, then back to my loft, through to Julie's, down the ladder and either out into the living room again or down the hallway and into the bedroom, then a pause; then back to the ladder again, across Julie's mattress, across mine, around my loft, back into Julie's, back into mine, along the wall...yeah.

For ten or so minutes, they keep this up as Julie and I lay in our beds, silently praying for them to stop.

They do not.

We lay in silence as they continue chasing each other. Across Julie's loft, across my bed -- and thus across me -- and the scrabblescrabblescrabble as they chase each other along the wall and then the scrabblescrabble as they scurry back across me, then across Julie, then scrabblethudscrabblethudscrabblethud as they chase each other down the ladder into the living room again, the boom as they hit the windowsill, the rattle as they hit the blinds.

Silence.

A yowl. The thuds as they chase each other back up the ladder, the soft grunts as they first step on Julie's stomach, then mine. scrabblescrabblescrabble along the wall.Scrabblescrabble into my room, where they stop a minute, fur standing so far on end you can faintly hear it bristling. Scrabblescrabble into Julie's room. Scrabblethudscrabblethud down the ladder. Pause. Scrabblethudscrabblethud back up the ladder, thud into the corner of Julie's loft, scrabblescrabble through into my loft and across and scrabblescrabble along the half-wall. Scrabblescrabble back across my body and into Julie's loft, then halfway down the ladder. Pause.

Silence.

And then, at the top of her lungs, I hear Julie shout, "I'M GOING TO KILL THEM!!!!!"

Scrabblescrabble the rest of the way down the ladder, into the living room, where they hide behind the couch and leave us alone.