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Severely out of can right now.
#Ferguson and #ifiwasgunneddown. I'm not horrified or shocked or even all that angry. What I am is tired, depressed, and frustrated that this is still happening. Somewhere in my head I have a long form rant about the Myth of the Respectable Negro and my own process of unlearning that bullshit, but I don't have it in me today. Once again kind of thankful kids aren't in the cards for me, more and more it feels like the bravest thing once can do is commit to raising a son of color and as more of this shit hits the news, the less I'm convinced I have that challenge in me.
Robin Williams. I can safely say that I have never been so utterly punched in the heart over a celebrity death before. He was so brave for so long and left behind a legacy of so much joy. So much of his work threaded through my childhood it isn't even funny. Mork. Popeye. Armand. Mr. Keating. Mrs. Doubtfire. Peter fucking Pan. And of course, Genie. Seriously. I never get this broken up over people I've never met, but I'm tearing up just writing about him. It's one of those instances where I know there probably isn't an afterlife but I kinda find myself hoping there is something good on the other side for him, or at the very least, the peace of nothing at all.
Money is a huge hairy crusty dick right now and I hate it. The grand in car repair that dropped unexpectedly this morning is not helping anything. Crossing my fingers that Certain Developments will happen and soon.
I feel like there's a to-do list in every direction waiting to lunge at my face.
I'm seriously ready to crawl into bed and tell everyone to just wake me up in time for Halloween.
#Ferguson and #ifiwasgunneddown. I'm not horrified or shocked or even all that angry. What I am is tired, depressed, and frustrated that this is still happening. Somewhere in my head I have a long form rant about the Myth of the Respectable Negro and my own process of unlearning that bullshit, but I don't have it in me today. Once again kind of thankful kids aren't in the cards for me, more and more it feels like the bravest thing once can do is commit to raising a son of color and as more of this shit hits the news, the less I'm convinced I have that challenge in me.
Robin Williams. I can safely say that I have never been so utterly punched in the heart over a celebrity death before. He was so brave for so long and left behind a legacy of so much joy. So much of his work threaded through my childhood it isn't even funny. Mork. Popeye. Armand. Mr. Keating. Mrs. Doubtfire. Peter fucking Pan. And of course, Genie. Seriously. I never get this broken up over people I've never met, but I'm tearing up just writing about him. It's one of those instances where I know there probably isn't an afterlife but I kinda find myself hoping there is something good on the other side for him, or at the very least, the peace of nothing at all.
Money is a huge hairy crusty dick right now and I hate it. The grand in car repair that dropped unexpectedly this morning is not helping anything. Crossing my fingers that Certain Developments will happen and soon.
I feel like there's a to-do list in every direction waiting to lunge at my face.
I'm seriously ready to crawl into bed and tell everyone to just wake me up in time for Halloween.
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Date: 2014-08-12 07:09 pm (UTC)From:And your whole post is also a tired, sad yeah. It is so goddamn hard to get up and can every day and oh my gods, fucking black respectability. SO MUCH HATE FOR IT. You are not the only one having trouble trying to write about it.