ugh

It's been a long time since I've had the sort of nightmare where I woke up shaking with my heart pounding and trying to jump out of my chest and my hands shaking.

Thing was it wasn't anything particularly scary. Just... emotionally fucked up. For once I'm not going into details here, because really the dream is a rehash of old bs with a familiar cast of characters. But it was a very thorough list of everything that still needs work, everything that's still wrong with me, everything that's still severely broken that I haven't been facing up to.

Sometimes the only way out is through. And I think this dream was a nasty little reminder that finding a therapist should probably be right up there with car shopping in terms of priority on that List Of Things To Do When I Get Back To The Valley For Good.

Ugh. No point in going back to bed. Guess I should find some way of calming my ass down, and then start my day.

ugh

It's been a long time since I've had the sort of nightmare where I woke up shaking with my heart pounding and trying to jump out of my chest and my hands shaking.

Thing was it wasn't anything particularly scary. Just... emotionally fucked up. For once I'm not going into details here, because really the dream is a rehash of old bs with a familiar cast of characters. But it was a very thorough list of everything that still needs work, everything that's still wrong with me, everything that's still severely broken that I haven't been facing up to.

Sometimes the only way out is through. And I think this dream was a nasty little reminder that finding a therapist should probably be right up there with car shopping in terms of priority on that List Of Things To Do When I Get Back To The Valley For Good.

Ugh. No point in going back to bed. Guess I should find some way of calming my ass down, and then start my day.

Do-over

Went back to sleep for a couple hours. Had much better dreams this time around. Woke up to the feeling of Dad's cat plopping himself down against the small of my back and purring loudly as he went to sleep.

Much better.

Also I know I'm late to the party bit GODDAMN The Whitest Kids U Know is funny stuff.

Today - more coffee, work, meeting Gena for either lunch or dinner, listen to the rain, think about stuff for tomorrow-next week.

Do-over

Went back to sleep for a couple hours. Had much better dreams this time around. Woke up to the feeling of Dad's cat plopping himself down against the small of my back and purring loudly as he went to sleep.

Much better.

Also I know I'm late to the party bit GODDAMN The Whitest Kids U Know is funny stuff.

Today - more coffee, work, meeting Gena for either lunch or dinner, listen to the rain, think about stuff for tomorrow-next week.

"We doin' business here!"

And now your moment of D'AWWW:

I am dead from kyoot.

"We doin' business here!"

And now your moment of D'AWWW:

I am dead from kyoot.

Cute kitties are cute.

One of exactly two things coaxing a smile out of me today.

Cute kitties are cute.

One of exactly two things coaxing a smile out of me today.

it was cute though

kitty showing love
gently touches nose to mine
stinky cat food breath

it was cute though

kitty showing love
gently touches nose to mine
stinky cat food breath