Everything below the waist is kaput.

[anagramofbrat]

Points to those who get the reference.

Between the usual bad after effects of traveling on my delicate widdle intestines (seriously, fuck them right now) plus the uterus being all SWEET A PAIN PARTY CAN I COME I am not a happy camper. And there still seems to be an o.b. shortage. The only size I've been able to find anywhere are the yellow super pluses, the insertion of which is not entirely unlike loading the ladytunnel with 12 gauge cotton buckshot. (Feel free to write your own cock and fire jokes, and no my pelvic floor muscles are not that awesome.) Plus I didn't feel up to making coffee this morning so I've got the beginnings of a raging headache on top of this. Not that my head is below my waist.

Clearly I need to remedy this with liberal applications of kitty cuddles.

Comments

[nounsandverbs]

Ain't it a fwikkin' shame?

[bottledgoose.livejournal.com]

It's actually a fun song to sing in any stereotypically thick accent, not just pseudogerman.

[purpura.livejournal.com]

Blazing Saddles! Lily Von Schtupp!
:)

[bellarisa.livejournal.com]

Super Plus is like a throw pillow tossed in the Grand Canyon; it's ULTRA in the frightening purple or I have to just sit in the tub for a week.

[bottledgoose.livejournal.com]

Sadly, they've discontinued Ultra outright.

I tried those once. After 2 days I was ready to qualify for a grant from the Ministry of Silly Walks.

Wait WHAT

[bellarisa.livejournal.com]

Really?? There's plenty in the CVS near me, apparently I need to stock up like Elaine Benes and her Today sponges ;)

Re: Wait WHAT

[bottledgoose.livejournal.com]

hahahaha yep

Re: Wait WHAT

[bellarisa.livejournal.com]

My bad, I just 'membered I switched to Tampax Pearl's thickest "Soak up the damn Atlantic" size awhile ago; they do the job well.

Re: Wait WHAT

[bottledgoose.livejournal.com]

doofus.

I can't do tampax anymore. It stretches the wrong way. :)

Re: Wait WHAT

[bellarisa.livejournal.com]

After Libby's head I could prolly use a Rubik's cube in a sock and be a'ight, crooked tunnel is crooked. Plus the Pearl applicator is righteous if I do say so, I HATED applicators until these.

I am SO sorry that I am giggling at your pain & woe

[triplemare.livejournal.com]

But, I totally am. Well, not your pain per se. But certainly your post about it.

"Tell me Tex Ma'am..are you in show business?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laq2rNiWDYQ

Re: I am SO sorry that I am giggling at your pain & woe

[bottledgoose.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't make my pain and woe funny if I wanted people to be all SRS bZNS about it

[innostrantsa.livejournal.com]

You may also wish to wefwesh yourself with spangly undies!





pls don't hate me forever, but: maybe a menstrual cup? *runs and hides*

[bottledgoose.livejournal.com]

Yeah yeah yeah. If by the time I run out of the current box of buckshot they're still nowhere to be found in a reasonable size I'll consider it. :P

[innostrantsa.livejournal.com]

8p, yourself! *laughing* All I'm saying is, you can't have a shortage of permanent menstrual solution.

[bottledgoose.livejournal.com]

Well, a permanent menstrual solution would be a hysterectomy. I did strongly consider it early this morning...

[innostrantsa.livejournal.com]

That too, but I didn't think you'd wanna have to go under the knife again so soon. Or you might consider endometrial ablation.

[nireena.livejournal.com]

there was an o.b. shortage around here for a while, too, but they seem to be restocking them again. if you start to run out, let me know and i can mail you some if need be...