The sadder but wiser girl for me

[anagramofbrat]

You know, over the years I've had many people make high falooting promises about how if I ever needed them to be here, wherever here was, no matter what the circumstances, costs, or distances were, they would indeed be here. I may have made a couple similar promises back in my stupid overly romantic days as well.

Sitting here in my parents house dealing with various and sundry, up to and including the vagaries of an old house in disrepair, family stuff, actual job stuff and the usual insane in the membrane, I've had the thought that perhaps true adulthood is knowing those promises for lies. Sometimes, for whatever reason, the trip simply can't be made, and maybe, just maybe, you've no right to even ask. And then knowing that despite the sucky depressiveness of that thought, you're gonna be all right, and whatever you're dealing with will just have to get handled all by your onesies. So you handle it, the situation passes, and you come out of it okay. Not great. But okay. Maybe with some grim satisfaction in there too. I don't know but that whole "I did it! All by myself!" elation really gets old after about 5 or so.


...yeah. It's been that kind of day.

Comments

[breakableheart.livejournal.com]

You know, I agree with a lot of this. I do believe, however, that just having people say they are "there for you" counts for a lot of thereness. So it's not really a lie in as much as it's "I can't re-roof your old sucky house for you but by golly I can buy you a coffee or even just talk on the phone with you". Which is a lot, when you come to think of it. Time being all we really have and all.

And my mom always tells me, "You can't go over it; you can't go around it; you just have to go through it and find the other side."

Does that make sense?

[meileiki.livejournal.com]

I'm just saying I get this on a ridiculous number of levels. Long ago, promises about being there were made rarely because childhood was hard and bitter and taught some grownup lessons. Now when I make them, I have to consider all the other demands and I'm still cautious -- but when I make them, I mean it.

I get tired of being strong and doing it all by myself. But dammit, I know it when shit gets done.

[telepresence.livejournal.com]

Every once in a while though, when you really really need it (and maybe don't even deserve it), your friends can be there for you in shocking amazing ways. It's not always a lie.

[innostrantsa.livejournal.com]

True, it isn't. Sometimes the Being There just takes a much different form than the obvious.

[11th-letter.livejournal.com]

The elation still flat does it for me...but I'm special like that.

[innostrantsa.livejournal.com]

Grim satisfaction has its pleasures. *shrugs* But yeah, I hear you.