Not even 9 yet and I already despair of humanity

[anagramofbrat]

Pediatricians call for a choke-proof hot dog

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Comments

[karnythia.livejournal.com]

I...they...I'm at a loss for words.

[purpura.livejournal.com]

"As a mother who has fed toddlers cylindrical foods like grapes, bananas, hot dogs and carrots, I 'redesigned' them in my kitchen by cutting them with a paring knife..."

Best comment in the blankity-blank article. Are people REALLY this dumb???!

[bottledgoose.livejournal.com]

YES.

[purpura.livejournal.com]

And I would just like to add that I fed Charlie hot dogs for lunch today.

When he was about 10 months old I went to a baby shower for a friend. He had just discovered the joy of hot dogs and wanted to eat them. As I sat there cutting them up into itty bitty pieces those of us at the table got into a conversation about how much Charlie liked them.

Some random relative of my friend looks over at me (remember what I was doing at the time?) and exclaims with horror evident in her voice "But do you to cut them up? They could be a choking hazard!!!"

As I sat there with my knife poised over the hot dog I was cutting up I simply said, "Of course." And continued to feed my child properly. Friends at the table said I was very good and did not a) stab her with a hot dog-coated plastic knife or b) tell her to die in a fire for being the most pedantic and moronic human ever.

[horizonchaser.livejournal.com]

We must RE-DESIGN things that are dangerous out of existence!!!

That way, if those kids ever run into these Dangerous Cylindrical Foods in their adult lives, they will have absolutely no experience in dealing with them, and choke on them. e.e;

I'm going to go work on growing octagonal grapes. They will double as gaming dice. Then only gamers mistaking real dice for grapes will choke on them.

[head58.livejournal.com]

I wish I had a choke proof hot dog.

[bottledgoose.livejournal.com]

saying something along the lines of "I've observed many interesting things in your genetic heritage; choke-proof sadly isn't one of them" would be a gross example of TMFI wouldn't it...

[cell23.livejournal.com]

Let's leave you choking your hot dog out of this.

[maps-or-guitars.livejournal.com]

It's only ten and I want my bottle.

[cell23.livejournal.com]

[bottledgoose.livejournal.com]

wow that's... disturbing

I like this one a bit better:

[emilytheslayer.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm traumatized!

[cell23.livejournal.com]

My work here is done.

[emilytheslayer.livejournal.com]

You'd think that your brother would have completed this process years ago, really. Clearly he's a slacker.

[head58.livejournal.com]

As I explained to Kai on Saturday night, I'm just waiting for you to lower your guard. When you least expect it, I'll be there.

[emilytheslayer.livejournal.com]

Uh-huh. You say "lying in wait," I say "lazy". :P

[bottledgoose.livejournal.com]

I have this really freaky image of Chris Hansen singing "I'll be there" in falsetto now...

[black-reign.livejournal.com]

If these were adults, I'd suggest that they go to their local "shop" and get some stuff that allows you to place objects down your throat..

[kittikattie.livejournal.com]

.........................................................................................................................................................................................

brb hating people

[htl-1126.livejournal.com]

.... yeah.. I got nothing.

[triplemare.livejournal.com]

On the one hand, yeah people are full of Teh Stupid. My advice is to ignore them.

On the other hand, you have such a fabulous collection of WTF-ery sort of gifs (Worf, His Purple Majesty are the latest that I have seen) that it would be a total shame to waste them.


"The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize" mock people viciously for being twits.