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Jan. 11th, 2011
Family Waaaaaaangst
Jan. 11th, 2011 03:08 pmIn addition to various work related CSS woes and casting a very dubious eye on the OMG ITS GONNA WHITESHIT TOMORROW reports, I have spent much of today emailing two of the Valkyries regarding FINALLY getting some broadband internet of our own at The House. It's one of those things where I'm psyched it's getting done, but sad about the circumstances spurring the action, and somewhat panicking about the implications of it, as, though it hasn't been explicitly said, I know a large portion of why this is being done now is to get me specifically down to the city to look after Dad more than just an errant weekend here and there. Which I'm fine with, honestly, and having internet WILL help me go home and not have to leave in 24 hours because I feel cut off from everything and everybody there. I'm just stressing about the rearrangement to my schedule and plans for the year this will entail, because I highly despise sudden changes like this, even though I know they will ultimately be for the better or had to happen anyway. But yeah, long story short, a lot more time spent in New York is in my immediate future, and I'm honestly unable to get a handle on how I feel about that. Well, if anything, it will make getting my car back on the road a priority, as having to do this sort of thing around Peter Pan's schedule is going to kill my soul.
This is also dredging up some leftover angst from Christmas about the dissonance between what I consider priorities and what The Fam does - 'course they're all pretty heavily old school in their blood being thicker than water mentalities and never really could get their heads around my commitments to other people outside throughout my life - it's one of the major reasons why there is a very clear divide/distance between what goes on in MA and what goes on in NY and why I'm pretty disinclined to let them mix much. The events of 2007-2009 have not helped in that they've quite thoroughly underscored their point that it is worthless considering anyone other than blood "family" as despite what people profess, they always have the option of leaving and "real family" doesn't, and they are on some level quite confused as to why I haven't gotten that message after the Amoeba melted down. Meanwhile I'm over here thinking "why the hell do you think I'm still having fucking issues over it?" This sort of thing wasn't helped by Dad making a tactless comment during Christmas about the amount of time and energy I'm currently spending on "a couple of people that aren't your problem," which is something that continues to fuck with me three weeks later, because that sort of shit hurts on a level I can't shake. I realize his greater point was to focus on getting my own ass together more until it happens, but he has this way of expressing things in the most damaging way possible sometimes.
So yeah, I mean, you guys know about my problems with measures of life success and my own feelings of coming up short no matter which one I use. This is never more true than with dealing with them, so I generally don't unless, to be completely frank, I need something. Unflattering and pretty selfish, but true. So it's kind of little wonder that the prospect of having to "go home" more this year is kinda making me want a nice large bottle of vodka and a 20 piece box of McNuggets.
Was there a declaration made somewhere that this is apparently Family Angst Season? because wtf, seriously, you guys, it's not just me.
This is also dredging up some leftover angst from Christmas about the dissonance between what I consider priorities and what The Fam does - 'course they're all pretty heavily old school in their blood being thicker than water mentalities and never really could get their heads around my commitments to other people outside throughout my life - it's one of the major reasons why there is a very clear divide/distance between what goes on in MA and what goes on in NY and why I'm pretty disinclined to let them mix much. The events of 2007-2009 have not helped in that they've quite thoroughly underscored their point that it is worthless considering anyone other than blood "family" as despite what people profess, they always have the option of leaving and "real family" doesn't, and they are on some level quite confused as to why I haven't gotten that message after the Amoeba melted down. Meanwhile I'm over here thinking "why the hell do you think I'm still having fucking issues over it?" This sort of thing wasn't helped by Dad making a tactless comment during Christmas about the amount of time and energy I'm currently spending on "a couple of people that aren't your problem," which is something that continues to fuck with me three weeks later, because that sort of shit hurts on a level I can't shake. I realize his greater point was to focus on getting my own ass together more until it happens, but he has this way of expressing things in the most damaging way possible sometimes.
So yeah, I mean, you guys know about my problems with measures of life success and my own feelings of coming up short no matter which one I use. This is never more true than with dealing with them, so I generally don't unless, to be completely frank, I need something. Unflattering and pretty selfish, but true. So it's kind of little wonder that the prospect of having to "go home" more this year is kinda making me want a nice large bottle of vodka and a 20 piece box of McNuggets.
Was there a declaration made somewhere that this is apparently Family Angst Season? because wtf, seriously, you guys, it's not just me.
Family Waaaaaaangst
Jan. 11th, 2011 03:08 pmIn addition to various work related CSS woes and casting a very dubious eye on the OMG ITS GONNA WHITESHIT TOMORROW reports, I have spent much of today emailing two of the Valkyries regarding FINALLY getting some broadband internet of our own at The House. It's one of those things where I'm psyched it's getting done, but sad about the circumstances spurring the action, and somewhat panicking about the implications of it, as, though it hasn't been explicitly said, I know a large portion of why this is being done now is to get me specifically down to the city to look after Dad more than just an errant weekend here and there. Which I'm fine with, honestly, and having internet WILL help me go home and not have to leave in 24 hours because I feel cut off from everything and everybody there. I'm just stressing about the rearrangement to my schedule and plans for the year this will entail, because I highly despise sudden changes like this, even though I know they will ultimately be for the better or had to happen anyway. But yeah, long story short, a lot more time spent in New York is in my immediate future, and I'm honestly unable to get a handle on how I feel about that. Well, if anything, it will make getting my car back on the road a priority, as having to do this sort of thing around Peter Pan's schedule is going to kill my soul.
This is also dredging up some leftover angst from Christmas about the dissonance between what I consider priorities and what The Fam does - 'course they're all pretty heavily old school in their blood being thicker than water mentalities and never really could get their heads around my commitments to other people outside throughout my life - it's one of the major reasons why there is a very clear divide/distance between what goes on in MA and what goes on in NY and why I'm pretty disinclined to let them mix much. The events of 2007-2009 have not helped in that they've quite thoroughly underscored their point that it is worthless considering anyone other than blood "family" as despite what people profess, they always have the option of leaving and "real family" doesn't, and they are on some level quite confused as to why I haven't gotten that message after the Amoeba melted down. Meanwhile I'm over here thinking "why the hell do you think I'm still having fucking issues over it?" This sort of thing wasn't helped by Dad making a tactless comment during Christmas about the amount of time and energy I'm currently spending on "a couple of people that aren't your problem," which is something that continues to fuck with me three weeks later, because that sort of shit hurts on a level I can't shake. I realize his greater point was to focus on getting my own ass together more until it happens, but he has this way of expressing things in the most damaging way possible sometimes.
So yeah, I mean, you guys know about my problems with measures of life success and my own feelings of coming up short no matter which one I use. This is never more true than with dealing with them, so I generally don't unless, to be completely frank, I need something. Unflattering and pretty selfish, but true. So it's kind of little wonder that the prospect of having to "go home" more this year is kinda making me want a nice large bottle of vodka and a 20 piece box of McNuggets.
Was there a declaration made somewhere that this is apparently Family Angst Season? because wtf, seriously, you guys, it's not just me.
This is also dredging up some leftover angst from Christmas about the dissonance between what I consider priorities and what The Fam does - 'course they're all pretty heavily old school in their blood being thicker than water mentalities and never really could get their heads around my commitments to other people outside throughout my life - it's one of the major reasons why there is a very clear divide/distance between what goes on in MA and what goes on in NY and why I'm pretty disinclined to let them mix much. The events of 2007-2009 have not helped in that they've quite thoroughly underscored their point that it is worthless considering anyone other than blood "family" as despite what people profess, they always have the option of leaving and "real family" doesn't, and they are on some level quite confused as to why I haven't gotten that message after the Amoeba melted down. Meanwhile I'm over here thinking "why the hell do you think I'm still having fucking issues over it?" This sort of thing wasn't helped by Dad making a tactless comment during Christmas about the amount of time and energy I'm currently spending on "a couple of people that aren't your problem," which is something that continues to fuck with me three weeks later, because that sort of shit hurts on a level I can't shake. I realize his greater point was to focus on getting my own ass together more until it happens, but he has this way of expressing things in the most damaging way possible sometimes.
So yeah, I mean, you guys know about my problems with measures of life success and my own feelings of coming up short no matter which one I use. This is never more true than with dealing with them, so I generally don't unless, to be completely frank, I need something. Unflattering and pretty selfish, but true. So it's kind of little wonder that the prospect of having to "go home" more this year is kinda making me want a nice large bottle of vodka and a 20 piece box of McNuggets.
Was there a declaration made somewhere that this is apparently Family Angst Season? because wtf, seriously, you guys, it's not just me.
Voice Post Accent Meme
Jan. 11th, 2011 04:16 pmyoinked from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
audiobiblio (appropriately enough):
Livejournal accent meme!
Leave a voice post in your journal answering the following questions:
1. Your name and/or username:
2. Where you're from:
3. The following words: aunt, roof, route, wash, oil, theater, iron, salmon, caramel, fire, water, sure, data, ruin, crayon, toilet, New Orleans, pecan, both, again, probably, spitting image, Alabama, lawyer, coupon, mayonnaise, syrup, pajamas, caught, orange, coffee, direction, naturally, aluminum and herbs.
4. What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
5. What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
6. What do you call gym shoes?
7. What do you say to address a group of people?
8. What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
9. What do you call your grandparents?
10. What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
11. What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
12. What is the thing you change the TV channel with?
It may take a couple of tries to get this done, as the VP server's a bit on the busy side, probably due to this making the rounds.
audiobiblio (appropriately enough):Livejournal accent meme!
Leave a voice post in your journal answering the following questions:
1. Your name and/or username:
2. Where you're from:
3. The following words: aunt, roof, route, wash, oil, theater, iron, salmon, caramel, fire, water, sure, data, ruin, crayon, toilet, New Orleans, pecan, both, again, probably, spitting image, Alabama, lawyer, coupon, mayonnaise, syrup, pajamas, caught, orange, coffee, direction, naturally, aluminum and herbs.
4. What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
5. What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
6. What do you call gym shoes?
7. What do you say to address a group of people?
8. What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
9. What do you call your grandparents?
10. What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
11. What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
12. What is the thing you change the TV channel with?
It may take a couple of tries to get this done, as the VP server's a bit on the busy side, probably due to this making the rounds.
Voice Post Accent Meme
Jan. 11th, 2011 04:16 pmyoinked from audiobiblio (appropriately enough):
Livejournal accent meme!
Leave a voice post in your journal answering the following questions:
1. Your name and/or username:
2. Where you're from:
3. The following words: aunt, roof, route, wash, oil, theater, iron, salmon, caramel, fire, water, sure, data, ruin, crayon, toilet, New Orleans, pecan, both, again, probably, spitting image, Alabama, lawyer, coupon, mayonnaise, syrup, pajamas, caught, orange, coffee, direction, naturally, aluminum and herbs.
4. What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
5. What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
6. What do you call gym shoes?
7. What do you say to address a group of people?
8. What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
9. What do you call your grandparents?
10. What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
11. What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
12. What is the thing you change the TV channel with?
It may take a couple of tries to get this done, as the VP server's a bit on the busy side, probably due to this making the rounds.
audiobiblio (appropriately enough):Livejournal accent meme!
Leave a voice post in your journal answering the following questions:
1. Your name and/or username:
2. Where you're from:
3. The following words: aunt, roof, route, wash, oil, theater, iron, salmon, caramel, fire, water, sure, data, ruin, crayon, toilet, New Orleans, pecan, both, again, probably, spitting image, Alabama, lawyer, coupon, mayonnaise, syrup, pajamas, caught, orange, coffee, direction, naturally, aluminum and herbs.
4. What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
5. What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
6. What do you call gym shoes?
7. What do you say to address a group of people?
8. What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
9. What do you call your grandparents?
10. What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
11. What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
12. What is the thing you change the TV channel with?
It may take a couple of tries to get this done, as the VP server's a bit on the busy side, probably due to this making the rounds.