5 questions from firinel

1. What has been the most pleasantly surprising about being a step-parent, and what has been the most frustrating/aggravating?

pleasant/surprising: These kids are pretty chill with the idea that they have four grown-ups that love them all silly and are pretty damn secure with that. Also the bit where said four grownups, despite tension and drama and differences can actually be in the same space and continue to act like adults. Anna and I might have our differences, but I know how rare it is when mom and stepmom actually get along and most days are even friendly. Also it freaks Drew out. XD kidding aside, it probably helps a lot that I was friends with both of them pre-divorce.

frustrating/aggravating: there's only so much influence you have. Both because you're not actually a "PARENT" but also because you only see them 2 days out of every 14. Still, work with what you've got and make it count. That 1/7 time does matter.

2. If familial obligations were not an issue at all, what would you actually want for your wedding (ie: if you could elope, would you, where, etc)?

It's less a family thing and more of a money, time and spoons thing. Sometimes I just want to say fuck it, lets go to city hall and then fuck off to Disney World. Some days I look at the nebulous thing I'm planning and think, no, this actually is exactly what I want.

3. It's the sort of thing I've wondered, but it seems too delicate to just randomly ask: What's your actual situation/agreement with regard to poly stuff? Did you find the getting married planning stuff has made any impact on that?

I almost feel like this question requires its own post cause of course it's complicated. But it seems to pretty much be deal with each situation as it comes up and keep the channels of communication wide open - lots of checking in and full disclosure. It's only been actually tested a couple of times within the last year, and other than a few rough edges that need to be polished off (mostly ex-related poly drama that needs to be taken into consideration), it seems to be working out for us. Oddly enough having the openness tested actually underscored the relationship rather than undermined it, which led to us getting engaged. I don't think much'll change once things get all legal up in here.

God, though, it is so NICE to be approaching poly from a place of complete security and trust though. That's a new thing for both of us.

4. Biggest pet peeve.

Three way tie between people chewing with their mouths open, not using directionals/blinkers/turn signals, and smoking inside enclosed outdoor places like bus shelters. I can't decide which makes me want to stabbity more.

5. If you had to choose one event in your life to live over and do completely different (fate of the world! and all) which would you chose, and what would you do differently?

Nothing too drastic or devastating, but I think I would do a lot of 2009 differently. Not in terms of what happened or where I ended up, but in terms of finance handling and decisions made in emotional rashness. I would NOT have moved in with Cara, for one, that whole situation was such a disaster and my wallet and credit rating are going to be hurting from that for a long ass time.

Signal boost.

Originally posted by morganminstrel at Proposal: The Lysistrata Movement. Comments should go there.

Proposal for formation of Lysistrata online movement

Clearly, NOW, NARAL and other organizations are unable to cope with the current environment. Just as clearly, there are large numbers of very angry women (and men) online, women angry about the assault on reproductive freedom, women’s health and women in general. Some very weird and scary things are going on right now, let’s be honest:

1. The various assaults on access to safe and healthy abortions, and specifically the ultrasound laws
2. The overturning of settled law and custom in regards to access to contraception, both for birth control and other medical reasons
3. The “controversy” over the renewal of the Violence Against Women Act (which, admittedly, is a bit more of a LBGT issue)

All of these things, and others, combine to form a very serious picture. Now, a lot of this is election year garbage, probably…but that’s as much “our” weapon as it is theirs. Remember, women make up a hell of a lot of the electorate. But that’s longer term thinking.
What is undeniably true is that the reaction on the part of our side has been less than effective. Apparently, there have been some Planned Parenthood sponsored rallies in Texas and (I think) Pennsylvania. I say “apparently” because I had to learn about them from a friend who follows PP on Facebook, not from the news media. Honestly, most of what I’ve seen has been people sharing links, etc. There doesn’t seem to be any cohesive network or calls to action that have garnered any attention outside their small groups.

So, what do I propose? I propose a “Women’s Spring,” much like the Arab Spring. I propose an online network/group called “Lysistrata” dedicated specifically to these issues. It should be used to trade news and links, though not exclusively to do so. It should also be a way for people to find out information about how they can be active at any level—addresses of legislators, organizing mass rallies, whatever. (I don’t have a lot of experience with this, so I don't have all the ideas or answers!) Bombard the media with the messages, so things don’t get lost in the fray. Organize a NATIONAL day of protests, instead of just a few here and there that most people don’t hear about.

Just as with the Arab Spring (or, for that matter, current protests in Russia), I propose the use of as much social media as we can. This shouldn’t just be a Facebook group, or a Twitter trend, or a Livejournal…it should be everything. And “membership” should be open to anyone who wants to take part. It’s important to remember that some people who don’t like abortion might also not like restriction of contraception, etc., etc. We have to recognize that the cause of Women’s freedom is a hell of a lot bigger than any single issue—or any single gender, as there are plenty of men who would take part as well.

Now, I have no idea how to organize this. Honestly, me and social media, we don’t see eye to eye a lot. But I’m just tired of both the assault on Women’s rights (which is an assault on HUMAN rights) and all the folks getting angry, but not actually DOING anything. Somehow, some way, it’s time to get off our duffs and find a way to make ourselves heard. We’re angry and, damnit, they’d better KNOW we’re angry…and what the consequences of ignoring that anger would be!

So, thoughts? If this makes sense, spread it. Full permission to repost anywhere and everywhere.

Embedded webcams + bored

So I had like fifteen minutes of downtime. I got silly with my facebook timeline.

( cut for large screenshot )

Yeah, this is why I shouldn't be left with cameras unsupervised, probably.