Ever since the move there's been a hair across my ass poking out of my jaw.
Not a huge deal, right? these things happen. EXCEPT IT FUCKING DRIVES ME CRAZY WHEN THEY DO. It's like I'll be casually going about my business la la la and playing with my chin and suddenly there it will be.
On my face in particular, there are two types of these lovely little stray chin hairs. One type are those creepily long stealth hairs where I swear it has a powerful cloaking device activated until it reaches precisely three inches long and then all of a sudden it pops out of your face yelling SURPRISE like a stripper in a cake, complete with microscopic g-string to tuck teeny tiny bills into.
...that's the second time stippers have come up in my journal today, incidentally. THEME SENSED.
This week's source of offense was the other kind. Not the gloriously long, rapturously curly in a way that would make Pantene models' lips curl with envy sort. No, these are the short stubbly motherfuckers that never get more than an eighth of an inch long and poke out of your face like the worlds' loneliest porcupine quill. The ones you cannot see in a mirror no matter how bright the light or how great the magnification but yet every time you run your finger down your jaw there it is, waiting to stab you. The kind that will make you (or at least does me) claw at your face in frustration trying to extract the demon hair from your face with your fingernails even though you know it's futile.
No big deal right? just go after it with some tweezers, problem solved. Except we haven't located
cell23's pair, and I didn't take the pair I had from Boobyhaven. So I've pretty much had this thing mocking me for a week. I finally broke down and got tweezers tonight after a week of throwing every other utensil at it (scissors, razor, nail clippers, needle nosed pliers) and having it defeat them all. A couple of hot pinches to the face, and the hair is gone. Andee's sanity is preserved for another day.
Yeah yeah first world problem, I know I know. I admit it, I'm a wuss and it wouldn't take a lot to have me whimpering DO IT TO JULIA in a corner somewhere, but seriously, somehow inducing several random spiky hairs to sprout from my jaw/chin, make sure I can feel them and know where they are and deny me access to tweezers ranks up there in effective methods of making me lose my mind, below locking me in a moldy wine cellar, any kind of dentalwork that involves Novocaine needles, and trapping me in a car with Nuke if she feels like cranking the Jesus music and singing along.
Not a huge deal, right? these things happen. EXCEPT IT FUCKING DRIVES ME CRAZY WHEN THEY DO. It's like I'll be casually going about my business la la la and playing with my chin and suddenly there it will be.
On my face in particular, there are two types of these lovely little stray chin hairs. One type are those creepily long stealth hairs where I swear it has a powerful cloaking device activated until it reaches precisely three inches long and then all of a sudden it pops out of your face yelling SURPRISE like a stripper in a cake, complete with microscopic g-string to tuck teeny tiny bills into.
...that's the second time stippers have come up in my journal today, incidentally. THEME SENSED.
This week's source of offense was the other kind. Not the gloriously long, rapturously curly in a way that would make Pantene models' lips curl with envy sort. No, these are the short stubbly motherfuckers that never get more than an eighth of an inch long and poke out of your face like the worlds' loneliest porcupine quill. The ones you cannot see in a mirror no matter how bright the light or how great the magnification but yet every time you run your finger down your jaw there it is, waiting to stab you. The kind that will make you (or at least does me) claw at your face in frustration trying to extract the demon hair from your face with your fingernails even though you know it's futile.
No big deal right? just go after it with some tweezers, problem solved. Except we haven't located
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Yeah yeah first world problem, I know I know. I admit it, I'm a wuss and it wouldn't take a lot to have me whimpering DO IT TO JULIA in a corner somewhere, but seriously, somehow inducing several random spiky hairs to sprout from my jaw/chin, make sure I can feel them and know where they are and deny me access to tweezers ranks up there in effective methods of making me lose my mind, below locking me in a moldy wine cellar, any kind of dentalwork that involves Novocaine needles, and trapping me in a car with Nuke if she feels like cranking the Jesus music and singing along.
no subject
Date: 2010-09-09 01:58 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-09-09 02:02 am (UTC)From:I am glad to know other women suffer this same ridiculous fate. ... I get the long whack-ass curly hairs that pop out of nowhere on the jaw line... also about 3" in length... but the porcupine quills are in the mustache area on ONLY ONE SIDE.
Brilliant, I say. Just brilliant.
no subject
Date: 2010-09-09 02:23 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-09-09 03:14 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-09-09 05:20 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-09-09 01:04 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-09-09 01:06 pm (UTC)From:done.
no subject
Date: 2010-09-13 04:04 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-09-16 02:43 am (UTC)From: