anagram of brat

Ever since the move there's been a hair across my ass poking out of my jaw.

Not a huge deal, right? these things happen. EXCEPT IT FUCKING DRIVES ME CRAZY WHEN THEY DO. It's like I'll be casually going about my business la la la and playing with my chin and suddenly there it will be.

On my face in particular, there are two types of these lovely little stray chin hairs. One type are those creepily long stealth hairs where I swear it has a powerful cloaking device activated until it reaches precisely three inches long and then all of a sudden it pops out of your face yelling SURPRISE like a stripper in a cake, complete with microscopic g-string to tuck teeny tiny bills into.

...that's the second time stippers have come up in my journal today, incidentally. THEME SENSED.

This week's source of offense was the other kind. Not the gloriously long, rapturously curly in a way that would make Pantene models' lips curl with envy sort. No, these are the short stubbly motherfuckers that never get more than an eighth of an inch long and poke out of your face like the worlds' loneliest porcupine quill. The ones you cannot see in a mirror no matter how bright the light or how great the magnification but yet every time you run your finger down your jaw there it is, waiting to stab you. The kind that will make you (or at least does me) claw at your face in frustration trying to extract the demon hair from your face with your fingernails even though you know it's futile.

No big deal right? just go after it with some tweezers, problem solved. Except we haven't located cell23's pair, and I didn't take the pair I had from Boobyhaven. So I've pretty much had this thing mocking me for a week. I finally broke down and got tweezers tonight after a week of throwing every other utensil at it (scissors, razor, nail clippers, needle nosed pliers) and having it defeat them all. A couple of hot pinches to the face, and the hair is gone. Andee's sanity is preserved for another day.

Yeah yeah first world problem, I know I know. I admit it, I'm a wuss and it wouldn't take a lot to have me whimpering DO IT TO JULIA in a corner somewhere, but seriously, somehow inducing several random spiky hairs to sprout from my jaw/chin, make sure I can feel them and know where they are and deny me access to tweezers ranks up there in effective methods of making me lose my mind, below locking me in a moldy wine cellar, any kind of dentalwork that involves Novocaine needles, and trapping me in a car with Nuke if she feels like cranking the Jesus music and singing along.

Today the to-do list has not eaten me. Instead, I have eaten the to-do list. Actually, I've had a shockingly productive weekend. And rather than resting on my laurels, I'm probably going to wander into the kitchen after posting this and set about making myself some lunch to take to the office with me this week.

ETA: lol no i'm not I'm going to keep talking to extrajoker. :)

Oh dear gods, I just remembered I left a plastic container on my desk with some tomato sauce left in the bottom of it. It's been 11 days since I was last in... I don't really want to think too hard about whatever green and fuzzy I'll have to contend with in the morning. Though, I must say, if I know it's going to be there, the chances of me dealing effectively with mold as opposed to running away and screaming are pretty high. Still... ew.

Also I'd just like to state that I look like a damn pretty pretty princess tonight because all twenty of my finger and toenails are purple and SHINEH.

Anyway, pictures nau, then cooking.

Mall trip survived, and was actually reasonably okay. Helps that roomie is an excellent sounding board for headnoise shit, and is probably one of three people I don't feel self conscious opening up to, so actual shopping was mitigated by copious shit shooting. Plus I found a cute bra and two turtlenecks on sale so t'weren't all bad.

The mall must have gotten to me, though, as driving home in the rain somehow was worse than usual - all the oncoming lights were super bright white, overwhelming and completely disorienting and I had one moment where I switched into the left lane with no conscious memory of doing so. Um.... yeah. Not good. Also hydroplaning is a pretty unpleasant sensation. Got home safe, but there was a close to tears moment or two coming up 116 at the end there. Grrrragh, sometimes driving sucks.

Also dredged up shit, even though it was nice to kinda talk about it? Still dredged up. *sigh*

My hair is driving me bugshit - I have about three inches of new growth at the top of my head that Will. Not. Lock. I'm like ye close to chopping it all off and buying a brush, because man, I miss them some days. Of course, I haven't had hair this long in any style since college and I'm rather enjoying it so I don't freaking know. Gonna spend tonight soothing my nerves with OZ and beeswax so I don't go to this gospel brunch tomorrow looking like the Wild Woman of Seventh Street Hill, but I'm gonna have to figure out some way of dealing with this mess on my head soon. Might have to suck it up and find some professional help for it next time I'm in the city.

Oh and I picked up some new eggs for the first time in about a month and a half. please give em a poke.

Why do things I want go on sale and/or come back in stock in my size whenever I don't have money??? *wail*

That's all, we now return you to your regularly scheduled livejournal bitching.