anagram of brat

Wellp. went to the doctor today. Guess what I have! Again! Again as in FOR THE FOURTH TIME, WTF! Chicken pox.

Chicken. Pox.

CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKEN POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOX.

...WTF, immune system. you FAIL SO HARD right now. I don't care if you're currently suppressed because otherwise you'd eat my intestine, FAIL. Because apparently having had chicken pox three times before now didn't make me into ENOUGH of a freak of nature.

so no harry potter for me tonight. May well be no bells on Sunday either, but we'll see. And I forgot to pick up my scrip in Amherst so I may have to go back out and get it later.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Apparently in addition to it being Fuck You Friday, it's also Shit On Everyone I Know Including Me Day as well. Between this morning's panic attack, realizing exactly (like with actual numbers and everything) how fucked in the wallet I am right now and will be at least until the new year, having several friends get super horrid news, getting some rather annoying news myself (long story short, Hanzo-san is staying home for the weekend at least), and having a major ex-relationship trigger set off in the booj I am amazed I'm sitting here being just angry and stressed about it all instead of cowering in a corner bawling my eyes out.

I'm fine, I'll get through this. But you know, one of these days it would be nice if every mistake I made in the last decade or so didn't rise up to bite me in the ass on the same damn day. JUST SAYING.

On the other hand it wasn't all bad today. I got to go with anothermurray to Dakin this afternoon and have a prolonged OMGKITTEHSSQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! moment. There was a magnificent large male orange cat that could very well have been Valentino's temperamental younger brother... but really my attention was quite taken with the two tortie long haired kittens in separate cages that climbed the bars and vocally demanded lovins, one of whom got out of her cage and went zipping across the floor when a volunteer opened it to clean it out. She got scooped up by another volunteer who later needed to not be holding her so he could go talk to anothermurray and asked if I'd like to hold onto her while the cage was being finished up.

No I didn't bring her home (did I mention fucked in the wallet?) But it was a very near miss, cause she was purry and hyperactive and hilariously clumsy and FUZZY oh my god. When I put her down she spent ten or so minutes attacking everything in her cage and falling off her box in the most hilariously clumsy fashion possible. Eeee. Someone's going to love the stuffing out of her soon. But I'm glad she was there to make me feel a little better today.

Still need to do something about the raging headache, and squeeze some more productivity out of my day. I may spend tonight chugging caffiene and angstily watching Netflix movies/Torchwood/Sons of Anarchy while I yarn up my head. a) I wanna look a little less like Buckwheat for aersi&verbena76's wedding, and b) the last thing I need to be worrying about in the next few weeks is my goddamn hair. Man, some days I miss my dreadlocks.

Thank the heavens for big sisters some days I swear. Otherwise today would have been FAR more failtastic than it was. *twitch*

Gonna salve my soul with jerkface kitten time now. Here have dragons.

Guess which computer just got Fisher Price® My First Virus™?

And for super extra lulz epeen won't start in safe mode.

Fffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu ETA: 1.5 hours later and problem mostly fixed. I'm still pissed and want to stab things. Strongly considering pouring the rest of the irish creme over the vanilla ice cream I just got to stave off widespread homicide and subsequent, or possibly even simultaneous bawling.

I think even if I hadn't had to leave work for the doc appointment I might have gone home sick anyway. I feel horrible.

( Gross but fun fact )

But yeah, we are definitely spending the rest of the day hiding from the world under every single cover I have, cursing my insides, sipping water, and periodically running to the bathroom to geyser violently from one end or another. Bleg. I really hope I'm better tomorrow.

In other news, I didn't get read the riot act by my GI - in fact he was really nice to me once I explained what had been going on with me in terms of stress and money this year. My homework for now is to see if my insurance will cover getting either/both of my medications in six month lots so I don't run out anymore and since I don't have too much of a problem asking someone back home to cover that if it can be done, we'll go that way. Alas, once I do work that out I've got to start the Humira over from scratch which means one evening shooting myself up in the belly/thigh fats four times... ugh. But that's how it goes. We did discuss putting me back on prednisone, cause it's definitely cheaper than the Humira, but steroids fuck me up so hardcore that I really don't want to get back on them unless I absolutely have to, but considering what I'm going through today I'm on orders to keep him updated both at the end of the week and two weeks from now and if I am indeed not better by either point, back on them I go. He also agreed to personally cover my copay for the visit, which was awesome.

Still, I'm sick now, hating it, and being super self-pitying about my broken meatsack, my finances and a fair amount of lifefail. Also y'all know me, I hate being actually sick enough to have to stop, go to bed and stay there until I feel better. Like right now I'm obsessing over work, dishes and laundry that all need doing, which sucks and is stupid considering if I felt okay I wouldn't be doing any of those things anyway due to lazy. My crazy, let me show you it.

One bit of not so great but I'm kinda secretly glad about it - sick = 15 pounds mysteriously going bye bye. On one hand, any weight fluctuation of more than 5 pounds for me is not a good sign. On the other hand? It's still weight I don't have to worry about losing at some later point and explains why my pants all fit suddenly. Ahh, the fuckupedness of being female in America....

Back to bed now. :(

( Medical drama involving girlparts. Cut for the squeamish. )

So yeah, I'm crampy, sore and uncomfortable and pretty much cursing my defective meat. I'm also not really okay above the neck. ( This time cut for b'awww )

I'm going to go to bed with a book and ignore the HOLY GODS WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME cramping happening below the belly button.

So guess whose pap smear came back "mildly" abnormal?

Because apparently I can has no end to the reproduction-related drama.

I was having such a good day too. FML.

dear subconscious,

I was not kidding when I said I was done thinking about Certain People as of December 31st. It's a hard thing to stick to, especially if I'm already in a pissy mood. This morning's anxiety dream featuring Her? Really not okay.

A thousand fuck yous,

Andee

cause you know the first thing I need to deal with in the morning is realizing I'm completely capable of that level of violence towards someone in Her condition....